We can hardly believe yesterday was our last day in China. When we left home, two and a half weeks seemed like an eternity, and now it is over. We will leave China with such mixed emotions. We've had an absolutely fantastic and eye-opening trip. We also look forward to getting home. Thanks to all who have been following our transformation to a family of four.
More landmark experiences lie ahead, starting this coming morning with Hannah Dong En's first ride on an airplane … actually her first three rides. (Yikes!) We hope they go as smoothly as possible.
Hannah Dong En has had so much to adjust to, we haven't talked to her about going to the U.S., living in a new home (besides this hotel), etc. (only that we will always be her mama, baba and gohgo and always take care of her). Who knows how anxious or prematurely excited so could become? One step at a time, the first one being that flight home.
So yesterday evening, at supper, Jay said in English that he had announcement to make. Then in Cantonese he told Dong En simply that tomorrow we would ride on an airplane. We didn't know what to expect. Blank stare? Anxiety? Would she not understand "tomorrow" and try to climb down off the chair, thinking we were going right then? Well, she opened her eyes and mouth wide in surprise, looked at Baba, looked at Mama, looked at Benjamin. She could hardly believe it. We nodded and said it was so. She beamed. A little later she moved her folded napkin through the air in a straight line saying "fei gei" — airplane. We can only hope she feels a small fraction of that joy after 12 hours in coach on a 747.
Once we are back and more rested, we hope to write some of the stories we didn't have time to tell, and post some of the good pictures we didn't have time to share. We also hope to tell about Hannah Dong En's reaction and adjustment to her new country, her new home, and her new extended family and friends.
We can't wait for our family and friends to meet Hannah Dong En. She has already brought a lot of joy into our lives and I'm sure she will do the same for you.
Jay, Rebecca, Benjamin, and Hannah Dong En.
Showing posts with label First Days with Hannah Dong En. Show all posts
Showing posts with label First Days with Hannah Dong En. Show all posts
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Photos
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Dong En Present, Dong En Past ... plus the Zoo!
Dong En has been doing well. She has had a couple of sad crying spells, but nothing as powerful as we described earlier. For the most part, she remains happy and very active. She is a girl of intense emotions. When she is happy, which is most of the time, she is really happy, and when she's not, well, she's really not.
Benjamin is also doing great. Every day we walk past a restaurant near the hotel that has the different types of seafood they serve in big tanks, alive, in the front window. One of the tanks is full of eels and Benjamin thinks they are really "handsome." He also thinks it is a pet store, not a restaurant. We haven't had the heart to tell him the truth.
Benjamin loves China and has told me several times he will be sad to leave because "it is so beautiful." He wants to come back soon and bring his best friend Josh with him.
He has also been interested in the fact that little children in China do not wear diapers. They wear split pants instead. When they need to go to the bathroom, they just squat down wherever they are and go. A day or so ago, Ben saw a little boy urinating on a tree as we walked past. He asked if he was "marking his territory."
The day before yesterday, we visited Hannah Dong En's orphanage. We only saw only a small part of one of several buildings. What we saw was meticulously clean and well maintained, but also well used. Both the director and assistant director came out to meet us and were very gracious. They told us there are 1,000 kids in the orphanage. Most of them have special needs. If the children are not adopted, they will live in the institution their whole lives. Some will attend college. The orphanage will try to find jobs for all of them. I'm sure it is not easy to find them jobs. While in Beijing, our guide Joy told us that 30% of all college graduates here are unable to find work. Joy's own parents were forced into early retirement to make way for younger workers and they were very bitter about it. I did see a girl who looked to be about 12 years old and blind polishing the handrails at the orphanage.
Yesterday, we visited the Guangzhou Zoo. Dong En seemed very interested in all the animals. She had an animal picture book with her, and every time we saw an animal that was also in the book, she would point, shout "OH!," then page to the same animal in the book and show it to us. She especially liked the giraffes and didn't want to leave that area.
There was a small fenced area with lots of different animals you could have your picture taken with. We didn't go in, but took pictures from behind the fence. The animals were all on short chains about 2 feet long. Among the parrots and monkeys, they also had two pet dogs. Dong En became a little fearful of a small monkey (who was very near the fence where we were standing) when it started to approach.
The zoo, like all of China, is a study in contradictions. It is huge and beautiful, but also lacking in resources, excepting, of course, human resources. For example, one of the camels was sick and needed to be transported somewhere. Rather than use a livestock truck, they had a regular flat bed truck and about 10 people had tied the camel's legs and were attempting to physically lift it onto the truck. What was also odd to our Western sensibilities was the fact they were moving the animal out in the open on the zoo's path next to the exhibit. While dealing with sick animals is a reality in every zoo, in America, I believe, the staff would have gone to great lengths to do all of this "behind the scenes."
After we left the zoo, we stopped at the hospital where Dong En's birth family abandoned her. Everyone else waited on the bus while we went in. Our guide kindly showed us the exact spot. I can see why her family chose it. It was crammed with people. I have no doubt they wanted her to be found and helped quickly. I became very emotional while I was there. It is difficult to conceive of the desperation that led her family to do what they did.
Again, thanks to all of you who are sending email. We really appreciate hearing from you!
Benjamin is also doing great. Every day we walk past a restaurant near the hotel that has the different types of seafood they serve in big tanks, alive, in the front window. One of the tanks is full of eels and Benjamin thinks they are really "handsome." He also thinks it is a pet store, not a restaurant. We haven't had the heart to tell him the truth.
Benjamin loves China and has told me several times he will be sad to leave because "it is so beautiful." He wants to come back soon and bring his best friend Josh with him.
He has also been interested in the fact that little children in China do not wear diapers. They wear split pants instead. When they need to go to the bathroom, they just squat down wherever they are and go. A day or so ago, Ben saw a little boy urinating on a tree as we walked past. He asked if he was "marking his territory."
The day before yesterday, we visited Hannah Dong En's orphanage. We only saw only a small part of one of several buildings. What we saw was meticulously clean and well maintained, but also well used. Both the director and assistant director came out to meet us and were very gracious. They told us there are 1,000 kids in the orphanage. Most of them have special needs. If the children are not adopted, they will live in the institution their whole lives. Some will attend college. The orphanage will try to find jobs for all of them. I'm sure it is not easy to find them jobs. While in Beijing, our guide Joy told us that 30% of all college graduates here are unable to find work. Joy's own parents were forced into early retirement to make way for younger workers and they were very bitter about it. I did see a girl who looked to be about 12 years old and blind polishing the handrails at the orphanage.
Yesterday, we visited the Guangzhou Zoo. Dong En seemed very interested in all the animals. She had an animal picture book with her, and every time we saw an animal that was also in the book, she would point, shout "OH!," then page to the same animal in the book and show it to us. She especially liked the giraffes and didn't want to leave that area.There was a small fenced area with lots of different animals you could have your picture taken with. We didn't go in, but took pictures from behind the fence. The animals were all on short chains about 2 feet long. Among the parrots and monkeys, they also had two pet dogs. Dong En became a little fearful of a small monkey (who was very near the fence where we were standing) when it started to approach.
The zoo, like all of China, is a study in contradictions. It is huge and beautiful, but also lacking in resources, excepting, of course, human resources. For example, one of the camels was sick and needed to be transported somewhere. Rather than use a livestock truck, they had a regular flat bed truck and about 10 people had tied the camel's legs and were attempting to physically lift it onto the truck. What was also odd to our Western sensibilities was the fact they were moving the animal out in the open on the zoo's path next to the exhibit. While dealing with sick animals is a reality in every zoo, in America, I believe, the staff would have gone to great lengths to do all of this "behind the scenes."
After we left the zoo, we stopped at the hospital where Dong En's birth family abandoned her. Everyone else waited on the bus while we went in. Our guide kindly showed us the exact spot. I can see why her family chose it. It was crammed with people. I have no doubt they wanted her to be found and helped quickly. I became very emotional while I was there. It is difficult to conceive of the desperation that led her family to do what they did.
Again, thanks to all of you who are sending email. We really appreciate hearing from you!
Monday, November 12, 2007
Recreation Here on Shamian Island
Dong En seems to be feeling much better. Yesterday was nonetheless an emotional day for us, and Benjamin was, at times, frustrated and needy. I think it was hard for him to internalize what was going on, all while coping with the intense attention we sometimes need to give Dong En, the big change in the family, and the rigors of traveling and living in a small room. His reactions, however, are really nothing in the scope of things. He has been handling this whole experience amazingly well!!! We are truly blessed to have him as our son. Now, with Dong En, we are twice blessed.
In response to the emotional rigor of the day, we took an afternoon walk to the park with the play and exercise equipment. The broader park is in the median of a boulevard and goes on for several blocks (one of which contains the "playground"). When we got the park, Benjamin asked why there were so many people. Indeed, while not packed, there were people all over, walking, sitting, talking, and many playing badminton (or some version thereof) without nets. The "playground," too, was far more crowded than the previous day we had come.
Yesterday was a Sunday. We also explained to Benjamin that there are just far more people in China than in the U.S., so there are lots more people to use the park. We ought to have added that in the large cities, apparently only a minuscule percentage of people have a yard. Most people live in large or huge apartment complexes. In Guangzhou, most have rooftop gardens; but there are hundreds or thousands in each building. So the parks are really the only places to do outdoor activities.
Our hotel, the park, etc. are on a small islet — Shamian Island — bordered by the Pearl River on one side and man-made canals on the other three sides. (It was sectioned off for or by colonial foreigners — mainly if not all English — over one hundred some years ago. Most buildings are, thus, English colonial style.) Relatively speaking, the island is much less densely-populated than the surrounding city. I can only imagine other parks are even more lively and crowded!
We had fun playing at the park, especially with Benjamin and Dong En's new bubble blowers we picked up for them at a nearby gift shop. They were extremely popular at the park.
Benjamin and Dong En blew lots of bubbles and kids gathered round four to six at a time to try to catch pop or stomp on the bubbles. Almost all of their parents hovered and were very attentive, making sure the kids didn't get too wild, etc.
Both Benjamin and Dong En played on the slides (etc.) and had to try out a lot of the exercise equipment. They had a lot of fun and, just like at home, didn't really want to leave.
In response to the emotional rigor of the day, we took an afternoon walk to the park with the play and exercise equipment. The broader park is in the median of a boulevard and goes on for several blocks (one of which contains the "playground"). When we got the park, Benjamin asked why there were so many people. Indeed, while not packed, there were people all over, walking, sitting, talking, and many playing badminton (or some version thereof) without nets. The "playground," too, was far more crowded than the previous day we had come.
Yesterday was a Sunday. We also explained to Benjamin that there are just far more people in China than in the U.S., so there are lots more people to use the park. We ought to have added that in the large cities, apparently only a minuscule percentage of people have a yard. Most people live in large or huge apartment complexes. In Guangzhou, most have rooftop gardens; but there are hundreds or thousands in each building. So the parks are really the only places to do outdoor activities.Our hotel, the park, etc. are on a small islet — Shamian Island — bordered by the Pearl River on one side and man-made canals on the other three sides. (It was sectioned off for or by colonial foreigners — mainly if not all English — over one hundred some years ago. Most buildings are, thus, English colonial style.) Relatively speaking, the island is much less densely-populated than the surrounding city. I can only imagine other parks are even more lively and crowded!
We had fun playing at the park, especially with Benjamin and Dong En's new bubble blowers we picked up for them at a nearby gift shop. They were extremely popular at the park.
Benjamin and Dong En blew lots of bubbles and kids gathered round four to six at a time to try to catch pop or stomp on the bubbles. Almost all of their parents hovered and were very attentive, making sure the kids didn't get too wild, etc.Both Benjamin and Dong En played on the slides (etc.) and had to try out a lot of the exercise equipment. They had a lot of fun and, just like at home, didn't really want to leave.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Laughter and Tears
Hannah Dong En continues to amaze us with the way she is adjusting to all the changes in her life. The first couple of days, she called Jay "Baba," but didn't refer to me as "Mama." We didn't push the issue. Now, she calls me "Mama," and when she sees a picture of me, she points and says "Ma-maaa" in such a sweet tone it melts my heart.
The day before yesterday we stopped at a little shop to buy her some dresses. I went around a corner and, for the first time, she called out for me when she could no longer see me. I came back immediately and she gave me a huge grin.
She also gives both of us a questioning look if she's not sure if should do something. Then she waits for us to indicate yes or no.
Normally, she does exactly what we ask and we praise her for being "very obedient." That praise, along with being "very pretty," and "very smart," are how Chinese people convey affection to their children. As you can imagine, we use those words constantly with her. Although Chinese people do not tell children they love them, we tell her we love her constantly as well. (Chinese people traditionally show their love with care and actions and praise.)
She can also be pretty rambunctious. She loves to play chasing games. She'll run a couple of steps and look back and smile. We'll ask her to come back, but instead, she'll run a couple of more steps, then look back and smile again. When we take a step toward her, she'll take off running full speed, laughing hysterically.
Unfortunately, we had to be a bit stern with her about not running while we toured a museum yesterday because we didn't want to lose her!! At first, she just laughed and avoided eye contact with us when we were telling her "not good," and "you need to stay with Mama and Baba." After several of these attempts, she started to get the message. On the bus home, she cried big, silent tears and we felt like monsters. It was the first time she had cried since we brought her back to the hotel. Because she cried silently, we are worried someone told her she should not cry.
Today, she again cried silently as the bus came back to the hotel after a short excursion to a beautiful park and botanical garden. Jay and I think the bus rides might be triggering some grief over all the transitions she's had to make. We are her sixth set of caregivers in 3 short years.
She was still crying softly when we got back to the room. Jay held her in his arms on the bed and I lay down next to them. He again told her in Cantonese that it was okay to cry. When he did, she started to cry harder. He kept telling her it was okay and she started to cry harder and harder and harder until she was literally screaming in agony. Several times, she screamed "Mama," but she didn't mean me. Her grief was so raw, it made Jay and I both cry. No child should have to endure what she's been through. She cried for about 25 minutes, and then reached for me. I held her and rocked her and she slowly started to recover. Within a few minutes, she was smiling again. Ben whimpered a few times, but otherwise held up okay.
Although it was difficult to watch, we are relieved that she is beginning to feel safe enough with us to show her feelings, good or bad. While we love her fun side, we realize there will probably be many moments like the one we had today. She's been through so much (far too much ) in her short life and it will take time for her to heal.
When not grieving, which is most of the time, she has a fantastic sense of humor. The picture of her putting on her Baba's socks in the last post conveys a glimpse of it. Like children the world over, she also thinks underpants are very funny. We looked at a picture book the other night that had a page about clothing. One of the pictures was underpants. She laughed, then showed us her underpants. The word Cantonese children use for underpants sounds like "foo foo," (fu fu, Iiterally pants pants) which Ben thinks is hilarious. Sometimes it's hard to get the two of them dressed in the morning because once we get their underpants on, they start laughing and running around shouting "fu fu! fu fu!"
We got out Hannah Dong En's swimming suit, which she also thought was fu fu, for the first time yesterday. After Jay explained it was a swimming suit, she couldn't wait to try it out. We went down to the pool and even though the water was cold, she got right in and loved it. Jay was in the locker room changing into his suit when she got in, and he could hear her squealing with laughter all the way from the pool. Sadly, no one is allowed to take photos in the pool area. The one we've attached was taken in our room.
Our hotel it beautiful, but it is hard for us to get used to everyone who waits on us. Each floor has an attendant one of whose main jobs is to stand at a podium outside the elevators to help us get in and out of them. She pushes the elevator button whenever she sees us (or anyone) coming so the elevator will be waiting when we get there. Then she escorts us into the elevator, holding the door. When we arrive back on our floor, she is there to escort us out of the elevator and point the way to our room. At night, a different woman comes to our room to turn back the covers on our bed, give us chocolates, slippers, fresh towels, and anything else we might want. There are workers everywhere to wait on us hand and foot.
Two evenings ago, we met an 11-year-old boy outside a shop. He was playing with a yo-yo like a professional. We were chatting with another couple from our travel group and he surprised us by joining the conversation in English. He said his parents had sent him to live with his aunt in the U.S. when he was 5, and he'd moved back last year. He said he missed his parents at first, but was anxious to go back to the U.S. where school is easier. Here, he goes to school from 7:30 a.m. until 5:30 p.m. every weekday. There are 42 kids in his class and one teacher. His parents also pay extra for him to attend school for 1/2 a day on Saturday and take English and math classes. He wants to be a scientist when he grows up, and I have no doubt he'll succeed.
We also met a local woman with a little girl who stopped to talk to us in English as we took a walk along the river. She asked about Dong En, then told us she would like to have a second child, but her family can't afford it. She said the government bases the fine for extra children on a family's salary. The more money the family makes, the higher the fine. She said it is equivalent to one year's gross income.
Last night, our friend Cheng joined us in Guangzhou. Cheng was one of our roommates when I was in law school. After the kids went to sleep, we all stayed up talking past midnight. He grew up in Shanghai, and it is so interesting to hear his perspective on all the ways China has changed even in the last 20 years. We hope to see him again tonight before he has to leave on business.
Thanks for all the email from our friends and family at home. Although we don't have time to respond to every message, we do read every message and your support means so much to us!!
The day before yesterday we stopped at a little shop to buy her some dresses. I went around a corner and, for the first time, she called out for me when she could no longer see me. I came back immediately and she gave me a huge grin.
She also gives both of us a questioning look if she's not sure if should do something. Then she waits for us to indicate yes or no.
Normally, she does exactly what we ask and we praise her for being "very obedient." That praise, along with being "very pretty," and "very smart," are how Chinese people convey affection to their children. As you can imagine, we use those words constantly with her. Although Chinese people do not tell children they love them, we tell her we love her constantly as well. (Chinese people traditionally show their love with care and actions and praise.)
She can also be pretty rambunctious. She loves to play chasing games. She'll run a couple of steps and look back and smile. We'll ask her to come back, but instead, she'll run a couple of more steps, then look back and smile again. When we take a step toward her, she'll take off running full speed, laughing hysterically.
Unfortunately, we had to be a bit stern with her about not running while we toured a museum yesterday because we didn't want to lose her!! At first, she just laughed and avoided eye contact with us when we were telling her "not good," and "you need to stay with Mama and Baba." After several of these attempts, she started to get the message. On the bus home, she cried big, silent tears and we felt like monsters. It was the first time she had cried since we brought her back to the hotel. Because she cried silently, we are worried someone told her she should not cry.
Today, she again cried silently as the bus came back to the hotel after a short excursion to a beautiful park and botanical garden. Jay and I think the bus rides might be triggering some grief over all the transitions she's had to make. We are her sixth set of caregivers in 3 short years.
She was still crying softly when we got back to the room. Jay held her in his arms on the bed and I lay down next to them. He again told her in Cantonese that it was okay to cry. When he did, she started to cry harder. He kept telling her it was okay and she started to cry harder and harder and harder until she was literally screaming in agony. Several times, she screamed "Mama," but she didn't mean me. Her grief was so raw, it made Jay and I both cry. No child should have to endure what she's been through. She cried for about 25 minutes, and then reached for me. I held her and rocked her and she slowly started to recover. Within a few minutes, she was smiling again. Ben whimpered a few times, but otherwise held up okay.
Although it was difficult to watch, we are relieved that she is beginning to feel safe enough with us to show her feelings, good or bad. While we love her fun side, we realize there will probably be many moments like the one we had today. She's been through so much (far too much ) in her short life and it will take time for her to heal.
When not grieving, which is most of the time, she has a fantastic sense of humor. The picture of her putting on her Baba's socks in the last post conveys a glimpse of it. Like children the world over, she also thinks underpants are very funny. We looked at a picture book the other night that had a page about clothing. One of the pictures was underpants. She laughed, then showed us her underpants. The word Cantonese children use for underpants sounds like "foo foo," (fu fu, Iiterally pants pants) which Ben thinks is hilarious. Sometimes it's hard to get the two of them dressed in the morning because once we get their underpants on, they start laughing and running around shouting "fu fu! fu fu!"
We got out Hannah Dong En's swimming suit, which she also thought was fu fu, for the first time yesterday. After Jay explained it was a swimming suit, she couldn't wait to try it out. We went down to the pool and even though the water was cold, she got right in and loved it. Jay was in the locker room changing into his suit when she got in, and he could hear her squealing with laughter all the way from the pool. Sadly, no one is allowed to take photos in the pool area. The one we've attached was taken in our room.
Our hotel it beautiful, but it is hard for us to get used to everyone who waits on us. Each floor has an attendant one of whose main jobs is to stand at a podium outside the elevators to help us get in and out of them. She pushes the elevator button whenever she sees us (or anyone) coming so the elevator will be waiting when we get there. Then she escorts us into the elevator, holding the door. When we arrive back on our floor, she is there to escort us out of the elevator and point the way to our room. At night, a different woman comes to our room to turn back the covers on our bed, give us chocolates, slippers, fresh towels, and anything else we might want. There are workers everywhere to wait on us hand and foot.
Two evenings ago, we met an 11-year-old boy outside a shop. He was playing with a yo-yo like a professional. We were chatting with another couple from our travel group and he surprised us by joining the conversation in English. He said his parents had sent him to live with his aunt in the U.S. when he was 5, and he'd moved back last year. He said he missed his parents at first, but was anxious to go back to the U.S. where school is easier. Here, he goes to school from 7:30 a.m. until 5:30 p.m. every weekday. There are 42 kids in his class and one teacher. His parents also pay extra for him to attend school for 1/2 a day on Saturday and take English and math classes. He wants to be a scientist when he grows up, and I have no doubt he'll succeed.
We also met a local woman with a little girl who stopped to talk to us in English as we took a walk along the river. She asked about Dong En, then told us she would like to have a second child, but her family can't afford it. She said the government bases the fine for extra children on a family's salary. The more money the family makes, the higher the fine. She said it is equivalent to one year's gross income.
Last night, our friend Cheng joined us in Guangzhou. Cheng was one of our roommates when I was in law school. After the kids went to sleep, we all stayed up talking past midnight. He grew up in Shanghai, and it is so interesting to hear his perspective on all the ways China has changed even in the last 20 years. We hope to see him again tonight before he has to leave on business.
Thanks for all the email from our friends and family at home. Although we don't have time to respond to every message, we do read every message and your support means so much to us!!
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Photo Catch-up
Here are some photos we've picked out to share. Some date several days back, even before Hannah Dong En. Some are more recent.
We've mentioned that because Benjamin is a caucasian child, and a fair-skinned, fair-haired one to boot, he often has celebrity status here. Many Chinese people think he is a great novelty and so cute. At times the paparazzi catch up with him. Once one person is "brave" enough to ask for a picture, a few others usually gather round to watch or ask for their turn. This photo is from the day we went to Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City.
Detail of one of the buildings in the Forbidden City (Beijing)
Detail of a door — Forbidden City (Beijing)
First Rickshaw ride — tour of a Hutong neighborhood (Beijing)
Cute or what?
Cute overload. Nap time.
Playing with cars.
Yesterday we borrowed a stroller for Dong En. She was excited to see this statue.
In the words of the Wiggles, "Hats are really groovy."
Trying on Baba's socks
Lost in Translation (Incidentally, the fine ranges from about $2.50 to $7)
Hannah Dong En Shorts Vol. 2: Chez Hannah?
Rebecca mentioned Dong En is skilled with silverware. She uses a spoon, fork, knife and chopsticks, all as good or better than a certain 5 year old we know. (Oops … maybe we should have spent a little less time on Mandarin with the boy and taught him to eat. Of course, having inherited our coordination skills, perhaps it's just his lot.)
Now, don't repeat that to either of them — so far we've kept rivalry to a minimum. Anyway, not only does she use utensils very well, it appears to be a hobby of hers. At most meals, after she's eaten most of her food (at thrice her brother's eating pace), she starts to "cook." She stirs her kanji (congee) or broth, then begins to add a little of her water or juice, then she mixes some more. She might cut up a little left over egg on her plate and add this to the concoction, maybe even some chopped-up placemat. Then she wants to pour into another bowl or cup. And on and on like that. We wonder if maybe she "helped" her foster parents a lot while they cooked. Her culinary experiments can get pretty messy, but we've carefully allowed — even encouraged — her, because it keeps her occupied while the rest of us eat. We earlier alluded to the fact that the first few meals she ate with us, she ate so fast and so much that she didn't keep it all down. (Although the cause might have been acidic juice, or something else she had that she wasn't used to.) We certainly encourage her to eat a good meal, but her cooking helps avoid her asking for our food and over-doing it.
As Rebecca said, we think we foresee a play kitchen set in her future. Her attention, persistence and skill with the utensils (for a three-year old) are quite a thing to watch! Perhaps we have the next "Iron Chef" on our hands. (Sorry, Steve but) Bobby Flay, look out!
Now, don't repeat that to either of them — so far we've kept rivalry to a minimum. Anyway, not only does she use utensils very well, it appears to be a hobby of hers. At most meals, after she's eaten most of her food (at thrice her brother's eating pace), she starts to "cook." She stirs her kanji (congee) or broth, then begins to add a little of her water or juice, then she mixes some more. She might cut up a little left over egg on her plate and add this to the concoction, maybe even some chopped-up placemat. Then she wants to pour into another bowl or cup. And on and on like that. We wonder if maybe she "helped" her foster parents a lot while they cooked. Her culinary experiments can get pretty messy, but we've carefully allowed — even encouraged — her, because it keeps her occupied while the rest of us eat. We earlier alluded to the fact that the first few meals she ate with us, she ate so fast and so much that she didn't keep it all down. (Although the cause might have been acidic juice, or something else she had that she wasn't used to.) We certainly encourage her to eat a good meal, but her cooking helps avoid her asking for our food and over-doing it.
As Rebecca said, we think we foresee a play kitchen set in her future. Her attention, persistence and skill with the utensils (for a three-year old) are quite a thing to watch! Perhaps we have the next "Iron Chef" on our hands. (Sorry, Steve but) Bobby Flay, look out!
Friday, November 9, 2007
Hannah Dong En Shorts [short stories] Vol. 1: Addicted to Fashion?
As Rebecca mentioned, Dong En is definitely attracted to the "girly" stuff, especially the clothes. Yesterday Rebecca had completely dressed her in pants and a shirt and she dug a little skirt out of her suitcase and brought it over excitedly. She basically insisted on wearing it.
A few times when she's been playing in the room, she's gotten a kind of frilly top out of her suitcase and motioned and asked (I guess) for one of us to put it on her over the clothes she's already wearing. (You can see that in the photo [in the last post] with her wearing the makeshift baby-slings with Pooh-bear and the cow.)
The thing is, we've run out of skirts and or dresses for her to wear. (Some of the stuff we have doesn't fit her right anyway. And, as advised, we didn't bring a lot due to space and weight limits.) We bought a few inexpensive dresses today.
A few times when she's been playing in the room, she's gotten a kind of frilly top out of her suitcase and motioned and asked (I guess) for one of us to put it on her over the clothes she's already wearing. (You can see that in the photo [in the last post] with her wearing the makeshift baby-slings with Pooh-bear and the cow.)
The thing is, we've run out of skirts and or dresses for her to wear. (Some of the stuff we have doesn't fit her right anyway. And, as advised, we didn't bring a lot due to space and weight limits.) We bought a few inexpensive dresses today.
Out to the Park
Yesterday we didn't have any appointments or tours scheduled; we had the day to ourselves. We weren't very adventurous. We enjoyed the huge breakfast buffet, like every morning, then hung out at the hotel most of the morning.
We explored the "grounds", checking out both of the swimming pools (both outdoor). We weren't ready to swim so we just had a look. We let Dong En splash her hands in both pools. (Although the air temperature was pleasant, about 75 degrees F maybe, the water temperature was not inviting. Benjamin still really wants to swim, though.) Dong En smiled and giggled when she was splashing in the pool with her hands. I said a Cantonese word for pool; she looked interested but didn't seem to know what I meant. I may have had the wrong word, but more likely she has not been to a pool before. I said "one can swim … " in Cantonese and she seemed to get that. Fortunately, she didn't jump in with her clothes on.
In the afternoon, we struck out into the neighborhood in search of a new place to eat and a park we had heard about. We found the park, as you can see in the photos in the last post. It had a smaller two-slide platform, a see-saw, and some monkey bars. There was lots of other equipment that turned out to be exercise equipment for adults (just like many American cities are putting along public paths to promote exercise), like leg exercisers, exer-cycle-like things, bars for pull-ups, sit-ups, etc. The difference is that here a few adults were actually using the stuff. I've heard that early in the morning large numbers of people go to parks to exercise: Tai Chi, stretches, calisthenics, etc., whether there is equipment or not.
For lunch, we ended up at one of the restaurants we'd already been to, Lucy's, a casual bar and grill place with outdoor seating next to a different riverside park. They have Western and local foods, and they always play American soft-pop hits from the 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's and 90's.
We returned to the hotel to put Dong En down for a nap. (The schedule from the orphanage and/or foster family said she takes and afternoon nap and then has a snack.) We closed the drapes, read a little book and we all lay down. She was sitting up in the bed and still kind of playing. I looked up "nap" on an on-line Cantonese dictionary. It came up with 3 different expressions. I tried to utter them all. A look of understanding came over her face, it seemed, and she lay down with us. We all fell asleep eventually, except Rebecca.
We just hung around the hotel for the rest of the day and evening.
Hopefully in the next post we can put up more photos.
We explored the "grounds", checking out both of the swimming pools (both outdoor). We weren't ready to swim so we just had a look. We let Dong En splash her hands in both pools. (Although the air temperature was pleasant, about 75 degrees F maybe, the water temperature was not inviting. Benjamin still really wants to swim, though.) Dong En smiled and giggled when she was splashing in the pool with her hands. I said a Cantonese word for pool; she looked interested but didn't seem to know what I meant. I may have had the wrong word, but more likely she has not been to a pool before. I said "one can swim … " in Cantonese and she seemed to get that. Fortunately, she didn't jump in with her clothes on.
In the afternoon, we struck out into the neighborhood in search of a new place to eat and a park we had heard about. We found the park, as you can see in the photos in the last post. It had a smaller two-slide platform, a see-saw, and some monkey bars. There was lots of other equipment that turned out to be exercise equipment for adults (just like many American cities are putting along public paths to promote exercise), like leg exercisers, exer-cycle-like things, bars for pull-ups, sit-ups, etc. The difference is that here a few adults were actually using the stuff. I've heard that early in the morning large numbers of people go to parks to exercise: Tai Chi, stretches, calisthenics, etc., whether there is equipment or not.
For lunch, we ended up at one of the restaurants we'd already been to, Lucy's, a casual bar and grill place with outdoor seating next to a different riverside park. They have Western and local foods, and they always play American soft-pop hits from the 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's and 90's.
We returned to the hotel to put Dong En down for a nap. (The schedule from the orphanage and/or foster family said she takes and afternoon nap and then has a snack.) We closed the drapes, read a little book and we all lay down. She was sitting up in the bed and still kind of playing. I looked up "nap" on an on-line Cantonese dictionary. It came up with 3 different expressions. I tried to utter them all. A look of understanding came over her face, it seemed, and she lay down with us. We all fell asleep eventually, except Rebecca.
We just hung around the hotel for the rest of the day and evening.
Hopefully in the next post we can put up more photos.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Photos
Another Great Day with Hannah Dong En
We have discovered Hannah Dong En is a real girly girl. I predict lots of dresses, dress-up clothes, dolls with clothes, and a kitchen set in her future. I only packed one dress for her, but hadn't put it on her yet because the button to close it in the back fell off. Yesterday, she found the dress in her suitcase, and even though she was already dressed, wanted to put it on immediately. After she did, she looked in the mirror and smiled from ear to ear. Then she ran to show Baba how pretty she looked. She also looked at me questioningly and pointed to her legs and to the pants she'd been wearing. She wasn't sure if her legs were supposed to be bare. After I assured her it was okay, she beamed again and danced all over the room.
She is always trying to put her clothes on the Winnie the Pooh doll we sent her before our arrival. (As an aside, we got back everything we sent to her. We don't think anyone went over the photo album with her in any detail.) And she loves purses or anything resembling a purse such as our passport holders.
She sings a lot. Yesterday, we ate at an outdoor café. She and I sat at a table, and Jay and Ben went in to get food. As we waited, she sat on my lap, leaned back against me and sang little songs to herself while gently kicking her leg in time to the music. After awhile, she asked where Baba (Dada) was. I told her Baba was in the café getting food. She went back to singing, but changed all the words of the song to "Baba, baba, baba, baba…"
There are 4 other families in our travel group. All of them are adopting special needs kids. They are all such precious children and it has been like watching a miracle to see each of them open up and bond with their new parents.
One little girl with cleft lip and palate has particularly touched my heart. She is 12 months old, and I would be surprised if she weighed more than 10 pounds. She is so tiny. Her hands and feet look like a newborn's. Her parents brought the smallest shoes they could find in the U.S., but they just fall right off of her. The back of her head is flat. It is apparent, she spent most of her time lying in a crib. But the changes in her already are amazing. Her Mama and Baba love her so much. Every time we see them they are showering her with kisses. She smiles and smiles and smiles. Her eyes are so bright now. I just can't wait to see a picture of her in a year or two after her lip is repaired and she has had lots of love and good nutrition. It's like she's been in a holding pattern just waiting for her life to start. Now that it has, she is soaking everything in and enjoying every second of it.
_______
One picture failed to upload to the previous post, but now we've added it. (Hannah in the play area at the Civil Affairs Office: See below.)
We'll post more photos later.
She is always trying to put her clothes on the Winnie the Pooh doll we sent her before our arrival. (As an aside, we got back everything we sent to her. We don't think anyone went over the photo album with her in any detail.) And she loves purses or anything resembling a purse such as our passport holders.
She sings a lot. Yesterday, we ate at an outdoor café. She and I sat at a table, and Jay and Ben went in to get food. As we waited, she sat on my lap, leaned back against me and sang little songs to herself while gently kicking her leg in time to the music. After awhile, she asked where Baba (Dada) was. I told her Baba was in the café getting food. She went back to singing, but changed all the words of the song to "Baba, baba, baba, baba…"
There are 4 other families in our travel group. All of them are adopting special needs kids. They are all such precious children and it has been like watching a miracle to see each of them open up and bond with their new parents.
One little girl with cleft lip and palate has particularly touched my heart. She is 12 months old, and I would be surprised if she weighed more than 10 pounds. She is so tiny. Her hands and feet look like a newborn's. Her parents brought the smallest shoes they could find in the U.S., but they just fall right off of her. The back of her head is flat. It is apparent, she spent most of her time lying in a crib. But the changes in her already are amazing. Her Mama and Baba love her so much. Every time we see them they are showering her with kisses. She smiles and smiles and smiles. Her eyes are so bright now. I just can't wait to see a picture of her in a year or two after her lip is repaired and she has had lots of love and good nutrition. It's like she's been in a holding pattern just waiting for her life to start. Now that it has, she is soaking everything in and enjoying every second of it.
_______
One picture failed to upload to the previous post, but now we've added it. (Hannah in the play area at the Civil Affairs Office: See below.)
We'll post more photos later.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Out of Her Shell
Dong En's personality is coming out more and more. It is pretty much exactly as described in her referral. She is outgoing and playful. She is not afraid of strangers, and usually, but not always, responds to them. Although she doesn't fear strangers, she does seem to understand we are her parents. She has started to be affectionate with us, and is not with strangers. She listens to us when we ask her to do something and she makes good eye contact with us.
We gave her a bath last night and I'm pretty sure it was the first western style bath she's had. She got in willingly, but just stood. Jay asked her in Cantonese to sit down and she squatted, but didn't sit. After she squatted, though, she started to play and splash in the water. Within a few moments, she sat down. From that point on, she just loved it. She splashed and laughed and played and giggled. We gave her a toy tea set and she had a great time serving us tea from the tub.
After her bath, I dried her off and put lotion on her arms, legs and torso. She also seemed to really like that. When I was done, she gestured that she wanted lotion on her hands. I gave her some, and she used it to put lotion on my arms. She is very sweet.
Next, we brushed her teeth. The previous night we offered her a toothbrush, but she didn't seem to know what to do with it. She watched us brush our teeth though. When I offered again after her bath, the look of amazement on her face was priceless, as if to say "I get to do it, too?" She took it and started brushing with a huge grin on her face. Then I showed her how to spit and rinse her mouth. This morning when she woke up, she found her toothbrush herself and started to brush her teeth again.
She is completely potty-trained, and lets us know when she needs to go potty. She likes to flush the toilet She washes her hands after going potty. She also throws away garbage.
We have given her traditional Chinese food at each meal, but also offered her Western options. She's tasted a few Western style foods, but mostly likes noodle and rice based dishes. She also likes fruit. We think she probably helped her foster mom cook. At each meal, she has used a spoon and cups to pretend to cook. She is also very dexterous with silverware and can cut up food herself.
Ben hasn't displayed any jealousy at all. He thinks Hannah Dong En is hilarious, especially when she uses or does something in a non-traditional way. This morning at breakfast she spooned apple juice into Baba's tea and Ben doubled over in laughter.
She seems less thrilled with him, but Ben hasn't noticed. She is not very good at sharing her toys. Yesterday, Jay asked her in Cantonese to share the play-doh with her big brother. She responded with a very dubious and resigned "okay" in Cantonese.
We haven't noticed any developmental delays at all. She seems very bright. When we got off of the elevator, she ran ahead to our room and stopped outside our door, even though our room is in a long hallway and all the room doors look alike.
All in all, things are going better than we'd even hoped. The other families in our group are also doing well with their new children.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Hannah Dong En Is Ours and We Are Hers!!!!
Here she is! Hannah Dong En. When she walked in, she looked tearful, but said "Mama, Baba, and goh go (big brother)" to each of us in turn. Then she burst into heart-rending sobs for the next hour or more. After we got back to the hotel, she slowly started to warm up to us.
Other than needing some dental work, she looks healthy and very well cared for. We can tell she is very smart. Last night, we looked at a picture book a friend gave us (thanks Chris and Emilie) and she pointed out a duck on one page, and an identical duck on another page. She was also playing a lot with some special necklaces that another friend gave us (Thanks Lish!). On her own, she began matching the objects (or "charms") on the necklace to the objects in the book, e.g., cat to cat, star to star, etc.
The orphanage director gave us a binder about an inch thick with all her preschool records. We were so grateful. We asked about Dong En's foster family and learned she had lived with them until March when she was returned to the orphanage. They sent her to a second foster family in September. When we asked why, they said they didn't know her adoption would occur so quickly. She had come to us directly from her second foster family that day and was inconsolable for quite awhile.
We gave the director two gift bags for each foster family. We put our address in each one and pleaded with her to give them to the families who she acknowledged must miss Dong En terribly.
She has a big little belly and we've already learned she can eat . . . well, eat like her new baba. We learned the hard way, that unlike her brother, whom we must prod to eat, we'll need to gently end her meal when it seems like enough.She has been unbelievably cooperative, and at times quite playful. We are excited about getting to know our beautiful, sweet, smart new daughter even better today!!!
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