Life with Yan Yan II

Things seems to be going very well. Hannah Dong En (usually called "Yan Yan" or "Hannah Yan Yan" [pronounced "yun yun", "-un" as in "fun"]) is so smart and strong and sweet and cute and fun and funny!

We think she is bonding to us well. She is most comfortable with us, and wants our attention almost constantly. She often wants us to hold her, especially Mama. In fact, most days she wants Mama around all the time and wants Mama to hold her 75% of that time. Some days she will relax this "requirement" and play more freely or hang out with Baba. She enjoys Baba most of the time, but definitely prefers Mama. We are trying to help her bond more with me (Baba) and accept comfort from me more of the time, in preparation for Rebecca's return to work in February. (I will continue to stay home with the kids.)

We know her need to be close is so very good for her, especially right now. Most of the time it's great. Sometimes, it can get a little overbearing, especially for poor Rebecca, who could use a few more breaks from the frequent 抱抱! 抱抱! — "Póuh póuh!" "Póuh póuh!", i.e., "Hold, hold" or "Hug, hug."

When we encounter new family or friends or strangers, Hannah Yan Yan is not fearful, but she is cautious and shy and sticks with us. Depending on the person, and the amount of preparation for the visit, she warms up to visitors gradually. She even took a "horsey ride" on Aunt Lin's back, and like to call (for real and pretend) 阿婆 — a pòh — and 阿公 — a gung —, that is, grandma and grandpa. Of course, other than "hello," she speaks to them in Cantonese, so that doesn't help them much.

We think that her clinging to us, with increasing moments of independence, and her caution with new people are very good signs about her bonding.

She is sharing more with Benjamin now, and they now play together a little bit each day, raucously, with lots of laughs and smiles. Lately it is games about how they have a house (which is really a room in our house) that they go in and do stuff, sometimes "locking" us out; that's a switch! Often, Yan Yan has them both caring for baby dolls or pretending to eat. Sometimes they all "sleep" and then a minute later they "wake up" and run through the house shouting 早晨! 早晨! 早晨! — "Jó sàhn!" "Jó sàhn!" "Jó sàhn!" (Good morning!! ...)

We can tell she loves her "gòh go" (big brother), and we think she loves us, too!

Home! Quick Update

We are home safe and sound. Hannah Dong En seems to like almost all the new amenities and experiences of living in a house. I 'm sure it's very new to her. In Beijing and Guangzhou I saw nothing like the Western free-standing house with yard, etc. (Apparently, such things do exist in the new far outer-ring suburbs of the cities.)

She especially enjoys all the baby doll toys and cooking toys that we and others got for her (thanks Lish!) And the the Play-Doh ... oh the Play-Doh. Which reminds me of one current challenge: the house is trashed. The impact of jet-lag on all of us, plus the attention the kids need from both of us — due to all the immense adjustments — don't allow much residual time or energy for organization yet.

What Dong En most definitely doesn't like are the cats. When she first saw them she was alarmed and clung to us. Now she is OK for a while if they are asleep across the room, but if one starts approach us she shouts, "Ah! Ah! Maau maau!! [kitty] Ah!" clings to us, and begins to whimper." If we don't close them in another room, she is reluctant to come down out of our arms. Nevertheless, if they are far away, she is interested in them and will mimic their motions (like licking a paw) with a smile. Our hope and belief is that she'll get used to them gradually.

She has had a couple of crying and flailing episodes, mostly at night. Today she had one of her most severe. And it started out of nowhere. Earlier, though, I'd played some Cantonese children's songs for her. At first, she moved to the music and repeated some of the words. Soon, however, she became dead serious and looked almost sad. Not too long after that she was playing normally and then just broke down. Perhaps too many memories came back and she missed "home." Maybe she was just tired. In any event, her grief and frustration prompted quite the heartbreaking fit of sadness and anger. After 45 minutes (??) she cried herself to sleep and woke up inconsolable twice. Nevertheless, she has been content or happy and playful most of time.

Grandma and grandpa visited yesterday and she was a little shy (as expected) but quite a charmer as she played with us and Benjamin. Grandma & Grandpa bore gifts and food which were loved by all.

This evening Lish and Josh (Benjamin's 5 year old best buddy) came over. (To add to Lish's heap of kind acts, she brought us a delicious home-baked caramel apple pie.) Again, Dong En was in high spirits. Josh could have powered a small city with his excitement over seeing Benjamin again!

Overall, things are going very well, we think!