Thursday, November 15, 2007
Note
If you happened to have read the last two posts before they had photos, you might want to scroll down. We added a few photos. Hopefully, we'll have time to put up more tomorrow (this evening, Wisconsin time.)
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Dong En Present, Dong En Past ... plus the Zoo!
Dong En has been doing well. She has had a couple of sad crying spells, but nothing as powerful as we described earlier. For the most part, she remains happy and very active. She is a girl of intense emotions. When she is happy, which is most of the time, she is really happy, and when she's not, well, she's really not.
Benjamin is also doing great. Every day we walk past a restaurant near the hotel that has the different types of seafood they serve in big tanks, alive, in the front window. One of the tanks is full of eels and Benjamin thinks they are really "handsome." He also thinks it is a pet store, not a restaurant. We haven't had the heart to tell him the truth.
Benjamin loves China and has told me several times he will be sad to leave because "it is so beautiful." He wants to come back soon and bring his best friend Josh with him.
He has also been interested in the fact that little children in China do not wear diapers. They wear split pants instead. When they need to go to the bathroom, they just squat down wherever they are and go. A day or so ago, Ben saw a little boy urinating on a tree as we walked past. He asked if he was "marking his territory."
The day before yesterday, we visited Hannah Dong En's orphanage. We only saw only a small part of one of several buildings. What we saw was meticulously clean and well maintained, but also well used. Both the director and assistant director came out to meet us and were very gracious. They told us there are 1,000 kids in the orphanage. Most of them have special needs. If the children are not adopted, they will live in the institution their whole lives. Some will attend college. The orphanage will try to find jobs for all of them. I'm sure it is not easy to find them jobs. While in Beijing, our guide Joy told us that 30% of all college graduates here are unable to find work. Joy's own parents were forced into early retirement to make way for younger workers and they were very bitter about it. I did see a girl who looked to be about 12 years old and blind polishing the handrails at the orphanage.
Yesterday, we visited the Guangzhou Zoo. Dong En seemed very interested in all the animals. She had an animal picture book with her, and every time we saw an animal that was also in the book, she would point, shout "OH!," then page to the same animal in the book and show it to us. She especially liked the giraffes and didn't want to leave that area.
There was a small fenced area with lots of different animals you could have your picture taken with. We didn't go in, but took pictures from behind the fence. The animals were all on short chains about 2 feet long. Among the parrots and monkeys, they also had two pet dogs. Dong En became a little fearful of a small monkey (who was very near the fence where we were standing) when it started to approach.
The zoo, like all of China, is a study in contradictions. It is huge and beautiful, but also lacking in resources, excepting, of course, human resources. For example, one of the camels was sick and needed to be transported somewhere. Rather than use a livestock truck, they had a regular flat bed truck and about 10 people had tied the camel's legs and were attempting to physically lift it onto the truck. What was also odd to our Western sensibilities was the fact they were moving the animal out in the open on the zoo's path next to the exhibit. While dealing with sick animals is a reality in every zoo, in America, I believe, the staff would have gone to great lengths to do all of this "behind the scenes."
After we left the zoo, we stopped at the hospital where Dong En's birth family abandoned her. Everyone else waited on the bus while we went in. Our guide kindly showed us the exact spot. I can see why her family chose it. It was crammed with people. I have no doubt they wanted her to be found and helped quickly. I became very emotional while I was there. It is difficult to conceive of the desperation that led her family to do what they did.
Again, thanks to all of you who are sending email. We really appreciate hearing from you!
Benjamin is also doing great. Every day we walk past a restaurant near the hotel that has the different types of seafood they serve in big tanks, alive, in the front window. One of the tanks is full of eels and Benjamin thinks they are really "handsome." He also thinks it is a pet store, not a restaurant. We haven't had the heart to tell him the truth.
Benjamin loves China and has told me several times he will be sad to leave because "it is so beautiful." He wants to come back soon and bring his best friend Josh with him.
He has also been interested in the fact that little children in China do not wear diapers. They wear split pants instead. When they need to go to the bathroom, they just squat down wherever they are and go. A day or so ago, Ben saw a little boy urinating on a tree as we walked past. He asked if he was "marking his territory."
The day before yesterday, we visited Hannah Dong En's orphanage. We only saw only a small part of one of several buildings. What we saw was meticulously clean and well maintained, but also well used. Both the director and assistant director came out to meet us and were very gracious. They told us there are 1,000 kids in the orphanage. Most of them have special needs. If the children are not adopted, they will live in the institution their whole lives. Some will attend college. The orphanage will try to find jobs for all of them. I'm sure it is not easy to find them jobs. While in Beijing, our guide Joy told us that 30% of all college graduates here are unable to find work. Joy's own parents were forced into early retirement to make way for younger workers and they were very bitter about it. I did see a girl who looked to be about 12 years old and blind polishing the handrails at the orphanage.
Yesterday, we visited the Guangzhou Zoo. Dong En seemed very interested in all the animals. She had an animal picture book with her, and every time we saw an animal that was also in the book, she would point, shout "OH!," then page to the same animal in the book and show it to us. She especially liked the giraffes and didn't want to leave that area.There was a small fenced area with lots of different animals you could have your picture taken with. We didn't go in, but took pictures from behind the fence. The animals were all on short chains about 2 feet long. Among the parrots and monkeys, they also had two pet dogs. Dong En became a little fearful of a small monkey (who was very near the fence where we were standing) when it started to approach.
The zoo, like all of China, is a study in contradictions. It is huge and beautiful, but also lacking in resources, excepting, of course, human resources. For example, one of the camels was sick and needed to be transported somewhere. Rather than use a livestock truck, they had a regular flat bed truck and about 10 people had tied the camel's legs and were attempting to physically lift it onto the truck. What was also odd to our Western sensibilities was the fact they were moving the animal out in the open on the zoo's path next to the exhibit. While dealing with sick animals is a reality in every zoo, in America, I believe, the staff would have gone to great lengths to do all of this "behind the scenes."
After we left the zoo, we stopped at the hospital where Dong En's birth family abandoned her. Everyone else waited on the bus while we went in. Our guide kindly showed us the exact spot. I can see why her family chose it. It was crammed with people. I have no doubt they wanted her to be found and helped quickly. I became very emotional while I was there. It is difficult to conceive of the desperation that led her family to do what they did.
Again, thanks to all of you who are sending email. We really appreciate hearing from you!
Monday, November 12, 2007
Recreation Here on Shamian Island
Dong En seems to be feeling much better. Yesterday was nonetheless an emotional day for us, and Benjamin was, at times, frustrated and needy. I think it was hard for him to internalize what was going on, all while coping with the intense attention we sometimes need to give Dong En, the big change in the family, and the rigors of traveling and living in a small room. His reactions, however, are really nothing in the scope of things. He has been handling this whole experience amazingly well!!! We are truly blessed to have him as our son. Now, with Dong En, we are twice blessed.
In response to the emotional rigor of the day, we took an afternoon walk to the park with the play and exercise equipment. The broader park is in the median of a boulevard and goes on for several blocks (one of which contains the "playground"). When we got the park, Benjamin asked why there were so many people. Indeed, while not packed, there were people all over, walking, sitting, talking, and many playing badminton (or some version thereof) without nets. The "playground," too, was far more crowded than the previous day we had come.
Yesterday was a Sunday. We also explained to Benjamin that there are just far more people in China than in the U.S., so there are lots more people to use the park. We ought to have added that in the large cities, apparently only a minuscule percentage of people have a yard. Most people live in large or huge apartment complexes. In Guangzhou, most have rooftop gardens; but there are hundreds or thousands in each building. So the parks are really the only places to do outdoor activities.
Our hotel, the park, etc. are on a small islet — Shamian Island — bordered by the Pearl River on one side and man-made canals on the other three sides. (It was sectioned off for or by colonial foreigners — mainly if not all English — over one hundred some years ago. Most buildings are, thus, English colonial style.) Relatively speaking, the island is much less densely-populated than the surrounding city. I can only imagine other parks are even more lively and crowded!
We had fun playing at the park, especially with Benjamin and Dong En's new bubble blowers we picked up for them at a nearby gift shop. They were extremely popular at the park.
Benjamin and Dong En blew lots of bubbles and kids gathered round four to six at a time to try to catch pop or stomp on the bubbles. Almost all of their parents hovered and were very attentive, making sure the kids didn't get too wild, etc.
Both Benjamin and Dong En played on the slides (etc.) and had to try out a lot of the exercise equipment. They had a lot of fun and, just like at home, didn't really want to leave.
In response to the emotional rigor of the day, we took an afternoon walk to the park with the play and exercise equipment. The broader park is in the median of a boulevard and goes on for several blocks (one of which contains the "playground"). When we got the park, Benjamin asked why there were so many people. Indeed, while not packed, there were people all over, walking, sitting, talking, and many playing badminton (or some version thereof) without nets. The "playground," too, was far more crowded than the previous day we had come.
Yesterday was a Sunday. We also explained to Benjamin that there are just far more people in China than in the U.S., so there are lots more people to use the park. We ought to have added that in the large cities, apparently only a minuscule percentage of people have a yard. Most people live in large or huge apartment complexes. In Guangzhou, most have rooftop gardens; but there are hundreds or thousands in each building. So the parks are really the only places to do outdoor activities.Our hotel, the park, etc. are on a small islet — Shamian Island — bordered by the Pearl River on one side and man-made canals on the other three sides. (It was sectioned off for or by colonial foreigners — mainly if not all English — over one hundred some years ago. Most buildings are, thus, English colonial style.) Relatively speaking, the island is much less densely-populated than the surrounding city. I can only imagine other parks are even more lively and crowded!
We had fun playing at the park, especially with Benjamin and Dong En's new bubble blowers we picked up for them at a nearby gift shop. They were extremely popular at the park.
Benjamin and Dong En blew lots of bubbles and kids gathered round four to six at a time to try to catch pop or stomp on the bubbles. Almost all of their parents hovered and were very attentive, making sure the kids didn't get too wild, etc.Both Benjamin and Dong En played on the slides (etc.) and had to try out a lot of the exercise equipment. They had a lot of fun and, just like at home, didn't really want to leave.
Stunned and Heartbroken
Dong En, Benjamin, Rebecca and I are all fine. However, it is with great sadness that we tell you that tragedy has struck our travel group. One of the adoptive parents in the group became very ill yesterday and has passed away today. We are all stunned, and are hearts are heavy.
He was diabetic and was apparently having complications from that condition. We are not clear on how much medical help he sought before today. Two of us other families had gone with our local guide Xiao Li (or "Jack") to visit the Guangzhou City Social Welfare Institution (the orphanage at which Dong En and some of the other children in our group spent some or all of their time). (We'll describe this experience later.) On our way back, Xiao Li began getting frequent telephone calls on his cell phone. At one point he looked at us and told us simply that there was a big problem. We soon learned that our travelmate's condition had become critical, that an ambulance had been called, and that he was having heart trouble — possibly a heart attack.
When we returned to the hotel, we spoke to a few other people in the group. The stricken father had been taken to the hospital along with his wife; another father from our group went along to help. Another couple was already taking care or the new daughter of the sick man.
After some uncertainty, prayer, and waiting, the friend who had gone to the hospital with them called our room and notified us that the sick dad had not made it.
I think we are all in shock. This adoption experience, while wonderful, is also very stressful and a huge life change to begin with. And so it was, I'm sure, with the afflicted parents. Moreover, they were first-time parents. We can't begin to fathom the pain and trauma that the woman who lost her husband is going through. We feel such deep sympathy not only for her, but also for their newly-adopted little daughter. We noticed her spending a lot of time being held by her new dad. Somewhere deep in her emotional memory, she almost certainly feels the effects of losing her birthparents. Now she must experience another loss during one of the biggest changes in her life. It is all just too indescribably heartbreaking.
We pray for this mom and this little girl. We ask for your prayers also.
He was diabetic and was apparently having complications from that condition. We are not clear on how much medical help he sought before today. Two of us other families had gone with our local guide Xiao Li (or "Jack") to visit the Guangzhou City Social Welfare Institution (the orphanage at which Dong En and some of the other children in our group spent some or all of their time). (We'll describe this experience later.) On our way back, Xiao Li began getting frequent telephone calls on his cell phone. At one point he looked at us and told us simply that there was a big problem. We soon learned that our travelmate's condition had become critical, that an ambulance had been called, and that he was having heart trouble — possibly a heart attack.
When we returned to the hotel, we spoke to a few other people in the group. The stricken father had been taken to the hospital along with his wife; another father from our group went along to help. Another couple was already taking care or the new daughter of the sick man.
After some uncertainty, prayer, and waiting, the friend who had gone to the hospital with them called our room and notified us that the sick dad had not made it.
I think we are all in shock. This adoption experience, while wonderful, is also very stressful and a huge life change to begin with. And so it was, I'm sure, with the afflicted parents. Moreover, they were first-time parents. We can't begin to fathom the pain and trauma that the woman who lost her husband is going through. We feel such deep sympathy not only for her, but also for their newly-adopted little daughter. We noticed her spending a lot of time being held by her new dad. Somewhere deep in her emotional memory, she almost certainly feels the effects of losing her birthparents. Now she must experience another loss during one of the biggest changes in her life. It is all just too indescribably heartbreaking.
We pray for this mom and this little girl. We ask for your prayers also.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Laughter and Tears
Hannah Dong En continues to amaze us with the way she is adjusting to all the changes in her life. The first couple of days, she called Jay "Baba," but didn't refer to me as "Mama." We didn't push the issue. Now, she calls me "Mama," and when she sees a picture of me, she points and says "Ma-maaa" in such a sweet tone it melts my heart.
The day before yesterday we stopped at a little shop to buy her some dresses. I went around a corner and, for the first time, she called out for me when she could no longer see me. I came back immediately and she gave me a huge grin.
She also gives both of us a questioning look if she's not sure if should do something. Then she waits for us to indicate yes or no.
Normally, she does exactly what we ask and we praise her for being "very obedient." That praise, along with being "very pretty," and "very smart," are how Chinese people convey affection to their children. As you can imagine, we use those words constantly with her. Although Chinese people do not tell children they love them, we tell her we love her constantly as well. (Chinese people traditionally show their love with care and actions and praise.)
She can also be pretty rambunctious. She loves to play chasing games. She'll run a couple of steps and look back and smile. We'll ask her to come back, but instead, she'll run a couple of more steps, then look back and smile again. When we take a step toward her, she'll take off running full speed, laughing hysterically.
Unfortunately, we had to be a bit stern with her about not running while we toured a museum yesterday because we didn't want to lose her!! At first, she just laughed and avoided eye contact with us when we were telling her "not good," and "you need to stay with Mama and Baba." After several of these attempts, she started to get the message. On the bus home, she cried big, silent tears and we felt like monsters. It was the first time she had cried since we brought her back to the hotel. Because she cried silently, we are worried someone told her she should not cry.
Today, she again cried silently as the bus came back to the hotel after a short excursion to a beautiful park and botanical garden. Jay and I think the bus rides might be triggering some grief over all the transitions she's had to make. We are her sixth set of caregivers in 3 short years.
She was still crying softly when we got back to the room. Jay held her in his arms on the bed and I lay down next to them. He again told her in Cantonese that it was okay to cry. When he did, she started to cry harder. He kept telling her it was okay and she started to cry harder and harder and harder until she was literally screaming in agony. Several times, she screamed "Mama," but she didn't mean me. Her grief was so raw, it made Jay and I both cry. No child should have to endure what she's been through. She cried for about 25 minutes, and then reached for me. I held her and rocked her and she slowly started to recover. Within a few minutes, she was smiling again. Ben whimpered a few times, but otherwise held up okay.
Although it was difficult to watch, we are relieved that she is beginning to feel safe enough with us to show her feelings, good or bad. While we love her fun side, we realize there will probably be many moments like the one we had today. She's been through so much (far too much ) in her short life and it will take time for her to heal.
When not grieving, which is most of the time, she has a fantastic sense of humor. The picture of her putting on her Baba's socks in the last post conveys a glimpse of it. Like children the world over, she also thinks underpants are very funny. We looked at a picture book the other night that had a page about clothing. One of the pictures was underpants. She laughed, then showed us her underpants. The word Cantonese children use for underpants sounds like "foo foo," (fu fu, Iiterally pants pants) which Ben thinks is hilarious. Sometimes it's hard to get the two of them dressed in the morning because once we get their underpants on, they start laughing and running around shouting "fu fu! fu fu!"
We got out Hannah Dong En's swimming suit, which she also thought was fu fu, for the first time yesterday. After Jay explained it was a swimming suit, she couldn't wait to try it out. We went down to the pool and even though the water was cold, she got right in and loved it. Jay was in the locker room changing into his suit when she got in, and he could hear her squealing with laughter all the way from the pool. Sadly, no one is allowed to take photos in the pool area. The one we've attached was taken in our room.
Our hotel it beautiful, but it is hard for us to get used to everyone who waits on us. Each floor has an attendant one of whose main jobs is to stand at a podium outside the elevators to help us get in and out of them. She pushes the elevator button whenever she sees us (or anyone) coming so the elevator will be waiting when we get there. Then she escorts us into the elevator, holding the door. When we arrive back on our floor, she is there to escort us out of the elevator and point the way to our room. At night, a different woman comes to our room to turn back the covers on our bed, give us chocolates, slippers, fresh towels, and anything else we might want. There are workers everywhere to wait on us hand and foot.
Two evenings ago, we met an 11-year-old boy outside a shop. He was playing with a yo-yo like a professional. We were chatting with another couple from our travel group and he surprised us by joining the conversation in English. He said his parents had sent him to live with his aunt in the U.S. when he was 5, and he'd moved back last year. He said he missed his parents at first, but was anxious to go back to the U.S. where school is easier. Here, he goes to school from 7:30 a.m. until 5:30 p.m. every weekday. There are 42 kids in his class and one teacher. His parents also pay extra for him to attend school for 1/2 a day on Saturday and take English and math classes. He wants to be a scientist when he grows up, and I have no doubt he'll succeed.
We also met a local woman with a little girl who stopped to talk to us in English as we took a walk along the river. She asked about Dong En, then told us she would like to have a second child, but her family can't afford it. She said the government bases the fine for extra children on a family's salary. The more money the family makes, the higher the fine. She said it is equivalent to one year's gross income.
Last night, our friend Cheng joined us in Guangzhou. Cheng was one of our roommates when I was in law school. After the kids went to sleep, we all stayed up talking past midnight. He grew up in Shanghai, and it is so interesting to hear his perspective on all the ways China has changed even in the last 20 years. We hope to see him again tonight before he has to leave on business.
Thanks for all the email from our friends and family at home. Although we don't have time to respond to every message, we do read every message and your support means so much to us!!
The day before yesterday we stopped at a little shop to buy her some dresses. I went around a corner and, for the first time, she called out for me when she could no longer see me. I came back immediately and she gave me a huge grin.
She also gives both of us a questioning look if she's not sure if should do something. Then she waits for us to indicate yes or no.
Normally, she does exactly what we ask and we praise her for being "very obedient." That praise, along with being "very pretty," and "very smart," are how Chinese people convey affection to their children. As you can imagine, we use those words constantly with her. Although Chinese people do not tell children they love them, we tell her we love her constantly as well. (Chinese people traditionally show their love with care and actions and praise.)
She can also be pretty rambunctious. She loves to play chasing games. She'll run a couple of steps and look back and smile. We'll ask her to come back, but instead, she'll run a couple of more steps, then look back and smile again. When we take a step toward her, she'll take off running full speed, laughing hysterically.
Unfortunately, we had to be a bit stern with her about not running while we toured a museum yesterday because we didn't want to lose her!! At first, she just laughed and avoided eye contact with us when we were telling her "not good," and "you need to stay with Mama and Baba." After several of these attempts, she started to get the message. On the bus home, she cried big, silent tears and we felt like monsters. It was the first time she had cried since we brought her back to the hotel. Because she cried silently, we are worried someone told her she should not cry.
Today, she again cried silently as the bus came back to the hotel after a short excursion to a beautiful park and botanical garden. Jay and I think the bus rides might be triggering some grief over all the transitions she's had to make. We are her sixth set of caregivers in 3 short years.
She was still crying softly when we got back to the room. Jay held her in his arms on the bed and I lay down next to them. He again told her in Cantonese that it was okay to cry. When he did, she started to cry harder. He kept telling her it was okay and she started to cry harder and harder and harder until she was literally screaming in agony. Several times, she screamed "Mama," but she didn't mean me. Her grief was so raw, it made Jay and I both cry. No child should have to endure what she's been through. She cried for about 25 minutes, and then reached for me. I held her and rocked her and she slowly started to recover. Within a few minutes, she was smiling again. Ben whimpered a few times, but otherwise held up okay.
Although it was difficult to watch, we are relieved that she is beginning to feel safe enough with us to show her feelings, good or bad. While we love her fun side, we realize there will probably be many moments like the one we had today. She's been through so much (far too much ) in her short life and it will take time for her to heal.
When not grieving, which is most of the time, she has a fantastic sense of humor. The picture of her putting on her Baba's socks in the last post conveys a glimpse of it. Like children the world over, she also thinks underpants are very funny. We looked at a picture book the other night that had a page about clothing. One of the pictures was underpants. She laughed, then showed us her underpants. The word Cantonese children use for underpants sounds like "foo foo," (fu fu, Iiterally pants pants) which Ben thinks is hilarious. Sometimes it's hard to get the two of them dressed in the morning because once we get their underpants on, they start laughing and running around shouting "fu fu! fu fu!"
We got out Hannah Dong En's swimming suit, which she also thought was fu fu, for the first time yesterday. After Jay explained it was a swimming suit, she couldn't wait to try it out. We went down to the pool and even though the water was cold, she got right in and loved it. Jay was in the locker room changing into his suit when she got in, and he could hear her squealing with laughter all the way from the pool. Sadly, no one is allowed to take photos in the pool area. The one we've attached was taken in our room.
Our hotel it beautiful, but it is hard for us to get used to everyone who waits on us. Each floor has an attendant one of whose main jobs is to stand at a podium outside the elevators to help us get in and out of them. She pushes the elevator button whenever she sees us (or anyone) coming so the elevator will be waiting when we get there. Then she escorts us into the elevator, holding the door. When we arrive back on our floor, she is there to escort us out of the elevator and point the way to our room. At night, a different woman comes to our room to turn back the covers on our bed, give us chocolates, slippers, fresh towels, and anything else we might want. There are workers everywhere to wait on us hand and foot.
Two evenings ago, we met an 11-year-old boy outside a shop. He was playing with a yo-yo like a professional. We were chatting with another couple from our travel group and he surprised us by joining the conversation in English. He said his parents had sent him to live with his aunt in the U.S. when he was 5, and he'd moved back last year. He said he missed his parents at first, but was anxious to go back to the U.S. where school is easier. Here, he goes to school from 7:30 a.m. until 5:30 p.m. every weekday. There are 42 kids in his class and one teacher. His parents also pay extra for him to attend school for 1/2 a day on Saturday and take English and math classes. He wants to be a scientist when he grows up, and I have no doubt he'll succeed.
We also met a local woman with a little girl who stopped to talk to us in English as we took a walk along the river. She asked about Dong En, then told us she would like to have a second child, but her family can't afford it. She said the government bases the fine for extra children on a family's salary. The more money the family makes, the higher the fine. She said it is equivalent to one year's gross income.
Last night, our friend Cheng joined us in Guangzhou. Cheng was one of our roommates when I was in law school. After the kids went to sleep, we all stayed up talking past midnight. He grew up in Shanghai, and it is so interesting to hear his perspective on all the ways China has changed even in the last 20 years. We hope to see him again tonight before he has to leave on business.
Thanks for all the email from our friends and family at home. Although we don't have time to respond to every message, we do read every message and your support means so much to us!!
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Photo Catch-up
Here are some photos we've picked out to share. Some date several days back, even before Hannah Dong En. Some are more recent.
We've mentioned that because Benjamin is a caucasian child, and a fair-skinned, fair-haired one to boot, he often has celebrity status here. Many Chinese people think he is a great novelty and so cute. At times the paparazzi catch up with him. Once one person is "brave" enough to ask for a picture, a few others usually gather round to watch or ask for their turn. This photo is from the day we went to Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City.
Detail of one of the buildings in the Forbidden City (Beijing)
Detail of a door — Forbidden City (Beijing)
First Rickshaw ride — tour of a Hutong neighborhood (Beijing)
Cute or what?
Cute overload. Nap time.
Playing with cars.
Yesterday we borrowed a stroller for Dong En. She was excited to see this statue.
In the words of the Wiggles, "Hats are really groovy."
Trying on Baba's socks
Lost in Translation (Incidentally, the fine ranges from about $2.50 to $7)
Hannah Dong En Shorts Vol. 2: Chez Hannah?
Rebecca mentioned Dong En is skilled with silverware. She uses a spoon, fork, knife and chopsticks, all as good or better than a certain 5 year old we know. (Oops … maybe we should have spent a little less time on Mandarin with the boy and taught him to eat. Of course, having inherited our coordination skills, perhaps it's just his lot.)
Now, don't repeat that to either of them — so far we've kept rivalry to a minimum. Anyway, not only does she use utensils very well, it appears to be a hobby of hers. At most meals, after she's eaten most of her food (at thrice her brother's eating pace), she starts to "cook." She stirs her kanji (congee) or broth, then begins to add a little of her water or juice, then she mixes some more. She might cut up a little left over egg on her plate and add this to the concoction, maybe even some chopped-up placemat. Then she wants to pour into another bowl or cup. And on and on like that. We wonder if maybe she "helped" her foster parents a lot while they cooked. Her culinary experiments can get pretty messy, but we've carefully allowed — even encouraged — her, because it keeps her occupied while the rest of us eat. We earlier alluded to the fact that the first few meals she ate with us, she ate so fast and so much that she didn't keep it all down. (Although the cause might have been acidic juice, or something else she had that she wasn't used to.) We certainly encourage her to eat a good meal, but her cooking helps avoid her asking for our food and over-doing it.
As Rebecca said, we think we foresee a play kitchen set in her future. Her attention, persistence and skill with the utensils (for a three-year old) are quite a thing to watch! Perhaps we have the next "Iron Chef" on our hands. (Sorry, Steve but) Bobby Flay, look out!
Now, don't repeat that to either of them — so far we've kept rivalry to a minimum. Anyway, not only does she use utensils very well, it appears to be a hobby of hers. At most meals, after she's eaten most of her food (at thrice her brother's eating pace), she starts to "cook." She stirs her kanji (congee) or broth, then begins to add a little of her water or juice, then she mixes some more. She might cut up a little left over egg on her plate and add this to the concoction, maybe even some chopped-up placemat. Then she wants to pour into another bowl or cup. And on and on like that. We wonder if maybe she "helped" her foster parents a lot while they cooked. Her culinary experiments can get pretty messy, but we've carefully allowed — even encouraged — her, because it keeps her occupied while the rest of us eat. We earlier alluded to the fact that the first few meals she ate with us, she ate so fast and so much that she didn't keep it all down. (Although the cause might have been acidic juice, or something else she had that she wasn't used to.) We certainly encourage her to eat a good meal, but her cooking helps avoid her asking for our food and over-doing it.
As Rebecca said, we think we foresee a play kitchen set in her future. Her attention, persistence and skill with the utensils (for a three-year old) are quite a thing to watch! Perhaps we have the next "Iron Chef" on our hands. (Sorry, Steve but) Bobby Flay, look out!
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