Life with Yan Yan II

Things seems to be going very well. Hannah Dong En (usually called "Yan Yan" or "Hannah Yan Yan" [pronounced "yun yun", "-un" as in "fun"]) is so smart and strong and sweet and cute and fun and funny!

We think she is bonding to us well. She is most comfortable with us, and wants our attention almost constantly. She often wants us to hold her, especially Mama. In fact, most days she wants Mama around all the time and wants Mama to hold her 75% of that time. Some days she will relax this "requirement" and play more freely or hang out with Baba. She enjoys Baba most of the time, but definitely prefers Mama. We are trying to help her bond more with me (Baba) and accept comfort from me more of the time, in preparation for Rebecca's return to work in February. (I will continue to stay home with the kids.)

We know her need to be close is so very good for her, especially right now. Most of the time it's great. Sometimes, it can get a little overbearing, especially for poor Rebecca, who could use a few more breaks from the frequent 抱抱! 抱抱! — "Póuh póuh!" "Póuh póuh!", i.e., "Hold, hold" or "Hug, hug."

When we encounter new family or friends or strangers, Hannah Yan Yan is not fearful, but she is cautious and shy and sticks with us. Depending on the person, and the amount of preparation for the visit, she warms up to visitors gradually. She even took a "horsey ride" on Aunt Lin's back, and like to call (for real and pretend) 阿婆 — a pòh — and 阿公 — a gung —, that is, grandma and grandpa. Of course, other than "hello," she speaks to them in Cantonese, so that doesn't help them much.

We think that her clinging to us, with increasing moments of independence, and her caution with new people are very good signs about her bonding.

She is sharing more with Benjamin now, and they now play together a little bit each day, raucously, with lots of laughs and smiles. Lately it is games about how they have a house (which is really a room in our house) that they go in and do stuff, sometimes "locking" us out; that's a switch! Often, Yan Yan has them both caring for baby dolls or pretending to eat. Sometimes they all "sleep" and then a minute later they "wake up" and run through the house shouting 早晨! 早晨! 早晨! — "Jó sàhn!" "Jó sàhn!" "Jó sàhn!" (Good morning!! ...)

We can tell she loves her "gòh go" (big brother), and we think she loves us, too!

Home! Quick Update

We are home safe and sound. Hannah Dong En seems to like almost all the new amenities and experiences of living in a house. I 'm sure it's very new to her. In Beijing and Guangzhou I saw nothing like the Western free-standing house with yard, etc. (Apparently, such things do exist in the new far outer-ring suburbs of the cities.)

She especially enjoys all the baby doll toys and cooking toys that we and others got for her (thanks Lish!) And the the Play-Doh ... oh the Play-Doh. Which reminds me of one current challenge: the house is trashed. The impact of jet-lag on all of us, plus the attention the kids need from both of us — due to all the immense adjustments — don't allow much residual time or energy for organization yet.

What Dong En most definitely doesn't like are the cats. When she first saw them she was alarmed and clung to us. Now she is OK for a while if they are asleep across the room, but if one starts approach us she shouts, "Ah! Ah! Maau maau!! [kitty] Ah!" clings to us, and begins to whimper." If we don't close them in another room, she is reluctant to come down out of our arms. Nevertheless, if they are far away, she is interested in them and will mimic their motions (like licking a paw) with a smile. Our hope and belief is that she'll get used to them gradually.

She has had a couple of crying and flailing episodes, mostly at night. Today she had one of her most severe. And it started out of nowhere. Earlier, though, I'd played some Cantonese children's songs for her. At first, she moved to the music and repeated some of the words. Soon, however, she became dead serious and looked almost sad. Not too long after that she was playing normally and then just broke down. Perhaps too many memories came back and she missed "home." Maybe she was just tired. In any event, her grief and frustration prompted quite the heartbreaking fit of sadness and anger. After 45 minutes (??) she cried herself to sleep and woke up inconsolable twice. Nevertheless, she has been content or happy and playful most of time.

Grandma and grandpa visited yesterday and she was a little shy (as expected) but quite a charmer as she played with us and Benjamin. Grandma & Grandpa bore gifts and food which were loved by all.

This evening Lish and Josh (Benjamin's 5 year old best buddy) came over. (To add to Lish's heap of kind acts, she brought us a delicious home-baked caramel apple pie.) Again, Dong En was in high spirits. Josh could have powered a small city with his excitement over seeing Benjamin again!

Overall, things are going very well, we think!

Gwongzau, Joi Gin - Goodbye Guangzhou

We can hardly believe yesterday was our last day in China. When we left home, two and a half weeks seemed like an eternity, and now it is over. We will leave China with such mixed emotions. We've had an absolutely fantastic and eye-opening trip. We also look forward to getting home. Thanks to all who have been following our transformation to a family of four.

More landmark experiences lie ahead, starting this coming morning with Hannah Dong En's first ride on an airplane … actually her first three rides. (Yikes!) We hope they go as smoothly as possible.

Hannah Dong En has had so much to adjust to, we haven't talked to her about going to the U.S., living in a new home (besides this hotel), etc. (only that we will always be her mama, baba and gohgo and always take care of her). Who knows how anxious or prematurely excited so could become? One step at a time, the first one being that flight home.

So yesterday evening, at supper, Jay said in English that he had announcement to make. Then in Cantonese he told Dong En simply that tomorrow we would ride on an airplane. We didn't know what to expect. Blank stare? Anxiety? Would she not understand "tomorrow" and try to climb down off the chair, thinking we were going right then? Well, she opened her eyes and mouth wide in surprise, looked at Baba, looked at Mama, looked at Benjamin. She could hardly believe it. We nodded and said it was so. She beamed. A little later she moved her folded napkin through the air in a straight line saying "fei gei" — airplane. We can only hope she feels a small fraction of that joy after 12 hours in coach on a 747.

Once we are back and more rested, we hope to write some of the stories we didn't have time to tell, and post some of the good pictures we didn't have time to share. We also hope to tell about Hannah Dong En's reaction and adjustment to her new country, her new home, and her new extended family and friends.

We can't wait for our family and friends to meet Hannah Dong En. She has already brought a lot of joy into our lives and I'm sure she will do the same for you.

Jay, Rebecca, Benjamin, and Hannah Dong En.

Photos

Ready for swimming


In the hotel playroom with Baba

In the hotel playroom - Dong En likes to set up beds for stuffed animals

Dong En loves to imitate things she sees, including statues.
This was her idea; soon she had us all doing it.
(Outside a restaurant)

Update II

It is our understanding that the consulate finalized Sandi and her daughter's paper work yesterday (at the same time they finalized that of the rest of the group), and that she will return today as scheduled. Thanks again to all who helped.

Update

Sandi Sheldon and our agency representative met with someone at the consulate this morning and are now being told with 95% certainty that she will be allowed to come home tomorrow as scheduled. Our agency representative is fantastic and dedicated. She is also fluent in Chinese and English. She has been helping Sandi from the beginning. She told me that all the phone calls to Sandi's representatives did make a difference, so thanks to those who called.

URGENT HELP NEEDED

The woman from our travel group whose husband passed away unexpectedly two days ago needs urgent help. Her adoption is already final in the eyes of the Chinese government. Now the U.S. consulate here is denying her a visa for her daughter to come back to the U.S. because of the "change in her marital status." This woman needs help fast before the consulate closes for Thanksgiving and she is stranded here indefinitely. If anyone out there is in a position to help, please get the word out. Her name is Sandra Sheldon. Her late husband was Dennis Sheldon. She is from Lansing, Michigan. Her congressman is Mike Rogers. His phone numbers are (202) 225-4872, (517) 702-8000, (877) 333-MIKE. Her senator is Debbie Stabenow (202) 224-4822 (517) 203-1760. We are in Guangzhou, Guangdong Province, China.
Please forward this to anyone you know who might be able to help.
Please respond ASAP.
Any help deeply appreciated.
Rebecca and Jay

Note

If you happened to have read the last two posts before they had photos, you might want to scroll down. We added a few photos. Hopefully, we'll have time to put up more tomorrow (this evening, Wisconsin time.)

Dong En Present, Dong En Past ... plus the Zoo!

Dong En has been doing well. She has had a couple of sad crying spells, but nothing as powerful as we described earlier. For the most part, she remains happy and very active. She is a girl of intense emotions. When she is happy, which is most of the time, she is really happy, and when she's not, well, she's really not.

Benjamin is also doing great. Every day we walk past a restaurant near the hotel that has the different types of seafood they serve in big tanks, alive, in the front window. One of the tanks is full of eels and Benjamin thinks they are really "handsome." He also thinks it is a pet store, not a restaurant. We haven't had the heart to tell him the truth.

Benjamin loves China and has told me several times he will be sad to leave because "it is so beautiful." He wants to come back soon and bring his best friend Josh with him.

He has also been interested in the fact that little children in China do not wear diapers. They wear split pants instead. When they need to go to the bathroom, they just squat down wherever they are and go. A day or so ago, Ben saw a little boy urinating on a tree as we walked past. He asked if he was "marking his territory."

The day before yesterday, we visited Hannah Dong En's orphanage. We only saw only a small part of one of several buildings. What we saw was meticulously clean and well maintained, but also well used. Both the director and assistant director came out to meet us and were very gracious. They told us there are 1,000 kids in the orphanage. Most of them have special needs. If the children are not adopted, they will live in the institution their whole lives. Some will attend college. The orphanage will try to find jobs for all of them. I'm sure it is not easy to find them jobs. While in Beijing, our guide Joy told us that 30% of all college graduates here are unable to find work. Joy's own parents were forced into early retirement to make way for younger workers and they were very bitter about it. I did see a girl who looked to be about 12 years old and blind polishing the handrails at the orphanage.

Yesterday, we visited the Guangzhou Zoo. Dong En seemed very interested in all the animals. She had an animal picture book with her, and every time we saw an animal that was also in the book, she would point, shout "OH!," then page to the same animal in the book and show it to us. She especially liked the giraffes and didn't want to leave that area.

There was a small fenced area with lots of different animals you could have your picture taken with. We didn't go in, but took pictures from behind the fence. The animals were all on short chains about 2 feet long. Among the parrots and monkeys, they also had two pet dogs. Dong En became a little fearful of a small monkey (who was very near the fence where we were standing) when it started to approach.

The zoo, like all of China, is a study in contradictions. It is huge and beautiful, but also lacking in resources, excepting, of course, human resources. For example, one of the camels was sick and needed to be transported somewhere. Rather than use a livestock truck, they had a regular flat bed truck and about 10 people had tied the camel's legs and were attempting to physically lift it onto the truck. What was also odd to our Western sensibilities was the fact they were moving the animal out in the open on the zoo's path next to the exhibit. While dealing with sick animals is a reality in every zoo, in America, I believe, the staff would have gone to great lengths to do all of this "behind the scenes."

After we left the zoo, we stopped at the hospital where Dong En's birth family abandoned her. Everyone else waited on the bus while we went in. Our guide kindly showed us the exact spot. I can see why her family chose it. It was crammed with people. I have no doubt they wanted her to be found and helped quickly. I became very emotional while I was there. It is difficult to conceive of the desperation that led her family to do what they did.

Again, thanks to all of you who are sending email. We really appreciate hearing from you!

Recreation Here on Shamian Island

Dong En seems to be feeling much better. Yesterday was nonetheless an emotional day for us, and Benjamin was, at times, frustrated and needy. I think it was hard for him to internalize what was going on, all while coping with the intense attention we sometimes need to give Dong En, the big change in the family, and the rigors of traveling and living in a small room. His reactions, however, are really nothing in the scope of things. He has been handling this whole experience amazingly well!!! We are truly blessed to have him as our son. Now, with Dong En, we are twice blessed.

In response to the emotional rigor of the day, we took an afternoon walk to the park with the play and exercise equipment. The broader park is in the median of a boulevard and goes on for several blocks (one of which contains the "playground"). When we got the park, Benjamin asked why there were so many people. Indeed, while not packed, there were people all over, walking, sitting, talking, and many playing badminton (or some version thereof) without nets. The "playground," too, was far more crowded than the previous day we had come. Yesterday was a Sunday. We also explained to Benjamin that there are just far more people in China than in the U.S., so there are lots more people to use the park. We ought to have added that in the large cities, apparently only a minuscule percentage of people have a yard. Most people live in large or huge apartment complexes. In Guangzhou, most have rooftop gardens; but there are hundreds or thousands in each building. So the parks are really the only places to do outdoor activities.

Our hotel, the park, etc. are on a small islet — Shamian Island — bordered by the Pearl River on one side and man-made canals on the other three sides. (It was sectioned off for or by colonial foreigners — mainly if not all English — over one hundred some years ago. Most buildings are, thus, English colonial style.) Relatively speaking, the island is much less densely-populated than the surrounding city. I can only imagine other parks are even more lively and crowded!

We had fun playing at the park, especially with Benjamin and Dong En's new bubble blowers we picked up for them at a nearby gift shop. They were extremely popular at the park. Benjamin and Dong En blew lots of bubbles and kids gathered round four to six at a time to try to catch pop or stomp on the bubbles. Almost all of their parents hovered and were very attentive, making sure the kids didn't get too wild, etc.

Both Benjamin and Dong En played on the slides (etc.) and had to try out a lot of the exercise equipment. They had a lot of fun and, just like at home, didn't really want to leave.

Stunned and Heartbroken

Dong En, Benjamin, Rebecca and I are all fine. However, it is with great sadness that we tell you that tragedy has struck our travel group. One of the adoptive parents in the group became very ill yesterday and has passed away today. We are all stunned, and are hearts are heavy.

He was diabetic and was apparently having complications from that condition. We are not clear on how much medical help he sought before today. Two of us other families had gone with our local guide Xiao Li (or "Jack") to visit the Guangzhou City Social Welfare Institution (the orphanage at which Dong En and some of the other children in our group spent some or all of their time). (We'll describe this experience later.) On our way back, Xiao Li began getting frequent telephone calls on his cell phone. At one point he looked at us and told us simply that there was a big problem. We soon learned that our travelmate's condition had become critical, that an ambulance had been called, and that he was having heart trouble — possibly a heart attack.

When we returned to the hotel, we spoke to a few other people in the group. The stricken father had been taken to the hospital along with his wife; another father from our group went along to help. Another couple was already taking care or the new daughter of the sick man.

After some uncertainty, prayer, and waiting, the friend who had gone to the hospital with them called our room and notified us that the sick dad had not made it.

I think we are all in shock. This adoption experience, while wonderful, is also very stressful and a huge life change to begin with. And so it was, I'm sure, with the afflicted parents. Moreover, they were first-time parents. We can't begin to fathom the pain and trauma that the woman who lost her husband is going through. We feel such deep sympathy not only for her, but also for their newly-adopted little daughter. We noticed her spending a lot of time being held by her new dad. Somewhere deep in her emotional memory, she almost certainly feels the effects of losing her birthparents. Now she must experience another loss during one of the biggest changes in her life. It is all just too indescribably heartbreaking.

We pray for this mom and this little girl. We ask for your prayers also.

Laughter and Tears

Hannah Dong En continues to amaze us with the way she is adjusting to all the changes in her life. The first couple of days, she called Jay "Baba," but didn't refer to me as "Mama." We didn't push the issue. Now, she calls me "Mama," and when she sees a picture of me, she points and says "Ma-maaa" in such a sweet tone it melts my heart.

The day before yesterday we stopped at a little shop to buy her some dresses. I went around a corner and, for the first time, she called out for me when she could no longer see me. I came back immediately and she gave me a huge grin.

She also gives both of us a questioning look if she's not sure if should do something. Then she waits for us to indicate yes or no.

Normally, she does exactly what we ask and we praise her for being "very obedient." That praise, along with being "very pretty," and "very smart," are how Chinese people convey affection to their children. As you can imagine, we use those words constantly with her. Although Chinese people do not tell children they love them, we tell her we love her constantly as well. (Chinese people traditionally show  their love with care and actions and praise.)

She can also be pretty rambunctious. She loves to play chasing games. She'll run a couple of steps and look back and smile. We'll ask her to come back, but instead, she'll run a couple of more steps, then look back and smile again. When we take a step toward her, she'll take off running full speed, laughing hysterically.

Unfortunately, we had to be a bit stern with her about not running while we toured a museum yesterday because we didn't want to lose her!! At first, she just laughed and avoided eye contact with us when we were telling her "not good," and "you need to stay with Mama and Baba." After several of these attempts, she started to get the message. On the bus home, she cried big, silent tears and we felt like monsters. It was the first time she had cried since we brought her back to the hotel. Because she cried silently, we are worried someone told her she should not cry.

Today, she again cried silently as the bus came back to the hotel after a short excursion to a beautiful park and botanical garden. Jay and I think the bus rides might be triggering some grief over all the transitions she's had to make. We are her sixth  set of caregivers in 3 short years.

She was still crying softly when we got back to the room. Jay held her in his arms on the bed and I lay down next to them. He again told her in Cantonese that it was okay to cry. When he did, she started to cry harder. He kept telling her it was okay and she started to cry harder and harder and harder until she was literally screaming in agony. Several times, she screamed "Mama," but she didn't mean me. Her grief was so raw, it made Jay and I both cry. No child should have to endure what she's been through. She cried for about 25 minutes, and then reached for me. I held her and rocked her and she slowly started to recover. Within a few minutes, she was smiling again. Ben whimpered a few times, but otherwise held up okay.

Although it was difficult to watch, we are relieved that she is beginning to feel safe enough with us to show her feelings, good or bad. While we love her fun side, we realize there will probably be many moments like the one we had today. She's been through so much (far too much ) in her short life and it will take time for her to heal.

When not grieving, which is most of the time, she has a fantastic sense of humor. The picture of her putting on her Baba's socks in the last post conveys a glimpse of it. Like children the world over, she also thinks underpants are very funny. We looked at a picture book the other night that had a page about clothing. One of the pictures was underpants. She laughed, then showed us her underpants. The word Cantonese children use for underpants sounds like "foo foo," (fu fu, Iiterally pants pants) which Ben thinks is hilarious. Sometimes it's hard to get the two of them dressed in the morning because once we get their underpants on, they start laughing and running around shouting "fu fu! fu fu!"

We got out Hannah Dong En's swimming suit, which she also thought was fu fu, for the first time yesterday. After Jay explained it was a swimming suit, she couldn't wait to try it out. We went down to the pool and even though the water was cold, she got right in and loved it. Jay was in the locker room changing into his suit when she got in, and he could hear her squealing with laughter all the way from the pool. Sadly, no one is allowed to take photos in the pool area. The one we've attached was taken in our room.

Our hotel it beautiful, but it is hard for us to get used to everyone who waits on us. Each floor has an attendant one of whose main jobs is to stand at a podium outside the elevators to help us get in and out of them. She pushes the elevator button whenever she sees us (or anyone) coming so the elevator will be waiting when we get there. Then she escorts us into the elevator, holding the door. When we arrive back on our floor, she is there to escort us out of the elevator and point the way to our room. At night, a different woman comes to our room to turn back the covers on our bed, give us chocolates, slippers, fresh towels, and anything else we might want. There are workers everywhere to wait on us hand and foot.

Two evenings ago, we met an 11-year-old boy outside a shop. He was playing with a yo-yo like a professional. We were chatting with another couple from our travel group and he surprised us by joining the conversation in English. He said his parents had sent him to live with his aunt in the U.S. when he was 5, and he'd moved back last year. He said he missed his parents at first, but was anxious to go back to the U.S. where school is easier. Here, he goes to school from 7:30 a.m. until 5:30 p.m. every weekday. There are 42 kids in his class and one teacher. His parents also pay extra for him to attend school for 1/2 a day on Saturday and take English and math classes. He wants to be a scientist when he grows up, and I have no doubt he'll succeed.

We also met a local woman with a little girl who stopped to talk to us in English as we took a walk along the river. She asked about Dong En, then told us she would like to have a second child, but her family can't afford it. She said the government bases the fine for extra children on a family's salary. The more money the family makes, the higher the fine. She said it is equivalent to one year's gross income.

Last night, our friend Cheng joined us in Guangzhou. Cheng was one of our roommates when I was in law school. After the kids went to sleep, we all stayed up talking past midnight. He grew up in Shanghai, and it is so interesting to hear his perspective on all the ways China has changed even in the last 20 years. We hope to see him again tonight before he has to leave on business.

Thanks for all the email from our friends and family at home. Although we don't have time to respond to every message, we do read every message and your support means so much to us!!

Photo Catch-up

Here are some photos we've picked out to share. Some date several days back, even before Hannah Dong En. Some are more recent.

We've mentioned that because Benjamin is a caucasian child, and a fair-skinned, fair-haired one to boot, he often has celebrity status here. Many Chinese people think he is a great novelty and so cute. At times the paparazzi catch up with him. Once one person is "brave" enough to ask for a picture, a few others usually gather round to watch or ask for their turn. This photo is from the day we went to Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City.


Detail of one of the buildings in the Forbidden City (Beijing)


Detail of a door — Forbidden City (Beijing)


First Rickshaw ride — tour of a Hutong neighborhood (Beijing)


Cute or what?




Cute overload. Nap time.



Playing with cars.


Yesterday we borrowed a stroller for Dong En. She was excited to see this statue.


In the words of the Wiggles, "Hats are really groovy."






Trying on Baba's socks

Lost in Translation (Incidentally, the fine ranges from about $2.50 to $7)

Hannah Dong En Shorts Vol. 2: Chez Hannah?

Rebecca mentioned Dong En is skilled with silverware. She uses a spoon, fork, knife and chopsticks, all as good or better than a certain 5 year old we know. (Oops … maybe we should have spent a little less time on Mandarin with the boy and taught him to eat. Of course, having inherited our coordination skills, perhaps it's just his lot.)

Now, don't repeat that to either of them — so far we've kept rivalry to a minimum. Anyway, not only does she use utensils very well, it appears to be a hobby of hers. At most meals, after she's eaten most of her food (at thrice her brother's eating pace), she starts to "cook." She stirs her kanji (congee) or broth, then begins to add a little of her water or juice, then she mixes some more. She might cut up a little left over egg on her plate and add this to the concoction, maybe even some chopped-up placemat. Then she wants to pour into another bowl or cup. And on and on like that. We wonder if maybe she "helped" her foster parents a lot while they cooked. Her culinary experiments can get pretty messy, but we've carefully allowed — even encouraged — her, because it keeps her occupied while the rest of us eat. We earlier alluded to the fact that the first few meals she ate with us, she ate so fast and so much that she didn't keep it all down. (Although the cause might have been acidic juice, or something else she had that she wasn't used to.) We certainly encourage her to eat a good meal, but her cooking helps avoid her asking for our food and over-doing it.

As Rebecca said, we think we foresee a play kitchen set in her future. Her attention, persistence and skill with the utensils (for a three-year old) are quite a thing to watch! Perhaps we have the next "Iron Chef" on our hands. (Sorry, Steve but) Bobby Flay, look out!

Hannah Dong En Shorts [short stories] Vol. 1: Addicted to Fashion?

As Rebecca mentioned, Dong En is definitely attracted to the "girly" stuff, especially the clothes. Yesterday Rebecca had completely dressed her in pants and a shirt and she dug a little skirt out of her suitcase and brought it over excitedly. She basically insisted on wearing it.

A few times when she's been playing in the room, she's gotten a kind of frilly top out of her suitcase and motioned and asked (I guess) for one of us to put it on her over the clothes she's already wearing. (You can see that in the photo [in the last post] with her wearing the makeshift baby-slings with Pooh-bear and the cow.)

The thing is, we've run out of skirts and or dresses for her to wear. (Some of the stuff we have doesn't fit her right anyway. And, as advised, we didn't bring a lot due to space and weight limits.) We bought a few inexpensive dresses today.

Out to the Park

Yesterday we didn't have any appointments or tours scheduled; we had the day to ourselves. We weren't very adventurous. We enjoyed the huge breakfast buffet, like every morning, then hung out at the hotel most of the morning.

We explored the "grounds", checking out both of the swimming pools (both outdoor). We weren't ready to swim so we just had a look. We let Dong En splash her hands in both pools. (Although the air temperature was pleasant, about 75 degrees F maybe, the water temperature was not inviting. Benjamin still really wants to swim, though.) Dong En smiled and giggled when she was splashing in the pool with her hands. I said a Cantonese word for pool; she looked interested but didn't seem to know what I meant. I may have had the wrong word, but more likely she has not been to a pool before. I said "one can swim … " in Cantonese and she seemed to get that. Fortunately, she didn't jump in with her clothes on.

In the afternoon, we struck out into the neighborhood in search of a new place to eat and a park we had heard about. We found the park, as you can see in the photos in the last post. It had a smaller two-slide platform, a see-saw, and some monkey bars. There was lots of other equipment that turned out to be exercise equipment for adults (just like many American cities are putting along public paths to promote exercise), like leg exercisers, exer-cycle-like things, bars for pull-ups, sit-ups, etc. The difference is that here a few adults were actually using the stuff. I've heard that early in the morning large numbers of people go to parks to exercise: Tai Chi, stretches, calisthenics, etc., whether there is equipment or not.

For lunch, we ended up at one of the restaurants we'd already been to, Lucy's, a casual bar and grill place with outdoor seating next to a different riverside park. They have Western and local foods, and they always play American soft-pop hits from the 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's and 90's.

We returned to the hotel to put Dong En down for a nap. (The schedule from the orphanage and/or foster family said she takes and afternoon nap and then has a snack.) We closed the drapes, read a little book and we all lay down. She was sitting up in the bed and still kind of playing. I looked up "nap" on an on-line Cantonese dictionary. It came up with 3 different expressions. I tried to utter them all. A look of understanding came over her face, it seemed, and she lay down with us. We all fell asleep eventually, except Rebecca.

We just hung around the hotel for the rest of the day and evening.

Hopefully in the next post we can put up more photos.

Photos

Benjamin & Dong En playing with Play-Doh in our hotel room (Wed Nov 7)



Huge grin (Wed Nov 7)

Havin' a great ol' time running around in the "Swan Room," the children's play room at our hotel. (Wed Nov 7)

Dong En motioned to Mama to tie a shirt around her waist with Winnie in it. Then she did the same with another shirt to hold the cow toy. (Lish, we think maybe she'll be a sling-wearing mommy some day.) (Thurs Nov 8)

The White Swan Hotel (where we're staying) is beautiful. This one was taken near the waterfall and fish pond next to one of the restaurants. (Thurs Nov 8)


Gohgo and mui mui (big brother & little sister) on the slide (Thurs Nov 8)

At the playground (Thurs Nov 8)
A little workout (Thurs Nov 8)

Another Great Day with Hannah Dong En

We have discovered Hannah Dong En is a real girly girl. I predict lots of dresses, dress-up clothes, dolls with clothes, and a kitchen set in her future. I only packed one dress for her, but hadn't put it on her yet because the button to close it in the back fell off. Yesterday, she found the dress in her suitcase, and even though she was already dressed, wanted to put it on immediately. After she did, she looked in the mirror and smiled from ear to ear. Then she ran to show Baba how pretty she looked. She also looked at me questioningly and pointed to her legs and to the pants she'd been wearing. She wasn't sure if her legs were supposed to be bare. After I assured her it was okay, she beamed again and danced all over the room.

She is always trying to put her clothes on the Winnie the Pooh doll we sent her before our arrival. (As an aside, we got back everything we sent to her. We don't think anyone went over the photo album with her in any detail.) And she loves purses or anything resembling a purse such as our passport holders.

She sings a lot. Yesterday, we ate at an outdoor café. She and I sat at a table, and Jay and Ben went in to get food. As we waited, she sat on my lap, leaned back against me and sang little songs to herself while gently kicking her leg in time to the music. After awhile, she asked where Baba (Dada) was. I told her Baba was in the café getting food. She went back to singing, but changed all the words of the song to "Baba, baba, baba, baba…"

There are 4 other families in our travel group. All of them are adopting special needs kids. They are all such precious children and it has been like watching a miracle to see each of them open up and bond with their new parents.

One little girl with cleft lip and palate has particularly touched my heart. She is 12 months old, and I would be surprised if she weighed more than 10 pounds. She is so tiny. Her hands and feet look like a newborn's. Her parents brought the smallest shoes they could find in the U.S., but they just fall right off of her. The back of her head is flat. It is apparent, she spent most of her time lying in a crib. But the changes in her already are amazing. Her Mama and Baba love her so much. Every time we see them they are showering her with kisses. She smiles and smiles and smiles. Her eyes are so bright now. I just can't wait to see a picture of her in a year or two after her lip is repaired and she has had lots of love and good nutrition. It's like she's been in a holding pattern just waiting for her life to start. Now that it has, she is soaking everything in and enjoying every second of it.
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One picture failed to upload to the previous post, but now we've added it. (Hannah in the play area at the Civil Affairs Office: See below.)

We'll post more photos later.

Out of Her Shell

Dong En's personality is coming out more and more. It is pretty much exactly as described in her referral. She is outgoing and playful. She is not afraid of strangers, and usually, but not always, responds to them. Although she doesn't fear strangers, she does seem to understand we are her parents. She has started to be affectionate with us, and is not with strangers. She listens to us when we ask her to do something and she makes good eye contact with us.



We gave her a bath last night and I'm pretty sure it was the first western style bath she's had. She got in willingly, but just stood. Jay asked her in Cantonese to sit down and she squatted, but didn't sit. After she squatted, though, she started to play and splash in the water. Within a few moments, she sat down. From that point on, she just loved it. She splashed and laughed and played and giggled. We gave her a toy tea set and she had a great time serving us tea from the tub.



After her bath, I dried her off and put lotion on her arms, legs and torso. She also seemed to really like that. When I was done, she gestured that she wanted lotion on her hands. I gave her some, and she used it to put lotion on my arms. She is very sweet.



Next, we brushed her teeth. The previous night we offered her a toothbrush, but she didn't seem to know what to do with it. She watched us brush our teeth though. When I offered again after her bath, the look of amazement on her face was priceless, as if to say "I get to do it, too?" She took it and started brushing with a huge grin on her face. Then I showed her how to spit and rinse her mouth. This morning when she woke up, she found her toothbrush herself and started to brush her teeth again.

She is completely potty-trained, and lets us know when she needs to go potty. She likes to flush the toilet She washes her hands after going potty. She also throws away garbage.

We have given her traditional Chinese food at each meal, but also offered her Western options. She's tasted a few Western style foods, but mostly likes noodle and rice based dishes. She also likes fruit. We think she probably helped her foster mom cook. At each meal, she has used a spoon and cups to pretend to cook. She is also very dexterous with silverware and can cut up food herself.

Ben hasn't displayed any jealousy at all. He thinks Hannah Dong En is hilarious, especially when she uses or does something in a non-traditional way. This morning at breakfast she spooned apple juice into Baba's tea and Ben doubled over in laughter.

She seems less thrilled with him, but Ben hasn't noticed. She is not very good at sharing her toys. Yesterday, Jay asked her in Cantonese to share the play-doh with her big brother. She responded with a very dubious and resigned "okay" in Cantonese.

We haven't noticed any developmental delays at all. She seems very bright. When we got off of the elevator, she ran ahead to our room and stopped outside our door, even though our room is in a long hallway and all the room doors look alike.

All in all, things are going better than we'd even hoped. The other families in our group are also doing well with their new children.

Hannah Dong En Is Ours and We Are Hers!!!!

Here she is! Hannah Dong En. When she walked in, she looked tearful, but said "Mama, Baba, and goh go (big brother)" to each of us in turn. Then she burst into heart-rending sobs for the next hour or more. After we got back to the hotel, she slowly started to warm up to us.

Other than needing some dental work, she looks healthy and very well cared for. We can tell she is very smart. Last night, we looked at a picture book a friend gave us (thanks Chris and Emilie) and she pointed out a duck on one page, and an identical duck on another page. She was also playing a lot with some special necklaces that another friend gave us (Thanks Lish!). On her own, she began matching the objects (or "charms") on the necklace to the objects in the book, e.g., cat to cat, star to star, etc.


The orphanage director gave us a binder about an inch thick with all her preschool records. We were so grateful. We asked about Dong En's foster family and learned she had lived with them until March when she was returned to the orphanage. They sent her to a second foster family in September. When we asked why, they said they didn't know her adoption would occur so quickly. She had come to us directly from her second foster family that day and was inconsolable for quite awhile.

We gave the director two gift bags for each foster family. We put our address in each one and pleaded with her to give them to the families who she acknowledged must miss Dong En terribly.

She has a big little belly and we've already learned she can eat . . . well, eat like her new baba. We learned the hard way, that unlike her brother, whom we must prod to eat, we'll need to gently end her meal when it seems like enough.
She has been unbelievably cooperative, and at times quite playful. We are excited about getting to know our beautiful, sweet, smart new daughter even better today!!!

Tiananmen, Forbidden City

My aim is to describe what we did during our busy day of touring in Beijing yesterday. We are, however, on an airplane en route to Guangzhou to meet our daughter. We'll be united with her later today!!! Her life and our lives will change forever . . . today!! Today! It's still hard to comprehend. And, of course, I'm a little nervous and what not.

Because our minds are racing about the huge events to come today, yesterday seems like a week ago. I'll try to bring it back, since I'm sure once we get to Guangzhou and — even more — once Hannah Dong En joins our family, we will be even less able to think about our tours.

Our group (joined by a couple of other Bethany [adoption agency] families) set out for central Beijing about 9am. We began in Tiananmen Square. Before we set off, Joy, our guide, warned there would be numerous vendors approaching us. She said it is best not to make eye contact and just ignore them, unless you want to buy something. In that case, she said we should negotiate with them, since, because we are foreigners, they will think we are rich.

We began our walk through Tiananmen Square, stopping for Joy to interpret and explain the sites we were seeing. There were thousands of other tourists there, most of them Chinese, of course. Because the square (I had read) is the largest city square in the world, (unlike the Great Wall) there was plenty of room to walk around, despite the crowds. My impression was that the square was very clean and well maintained. There are two structures on the square: a monument to all war heroes going back to the 1800's, and a monument to Mao Zedong, containing his preserved remains. On one side is the huge Great Hall of the People, where China's equivalent to Congress meets.
We did indeed encounter swarms of vendors on the sidewalks around the square. There were less inside the square, but still several. There were a couple dozen police or soldiers stationed around the square. At one point some peddlers selling little plastic kites were near us. A police truck drove up and that small group of vendors ran like the wind. It wasn't clear whether selling on the square was completely prohibited, whether they were doing it without a license, or what. There were still numerous vendors on the square after that, so evidently the police aren't out to round them up en masse. 

We headed across the square, toward our next destination, the ornate "gate" for which the square is named, tian an men, the heavenly peace gate. This gate is one of several entrances to the Forbidden City, which until the early 1900's housed the emperors of China for several dynasties, along with their families and governments.

The restrooms at which we stopped on the way was also the location of one of the official gift shops, selling shirts, hats, postcards, plastic P.R. (People's Republic of) China flags, and several gifts commemorating Chairman Mao.

After crossing to the Forbidden City side of the street, we paused to learn more before entering the tian an men. Ben was again mobbed by people wanting photographs, but took it all in stride, very much like a celebrity dealing with the paparazzi. I think our guide, Joy, was a little irritated by all the interruptions.

Joy explained some of the abundant symbolism in the names of the features and the images and icons through the structures. Like the old extent of the city of Beijing, the Forbidden City is surrounded by a moat. At the Heavenly Peace Gate, there are three bridges leading to three entrances. The center one — the largest — in imperial times was to be used only be the emperor. Today alone, we (and thousands more) would cross that bridge into the compound.
The complex is quite literally a little city, with building upon building and courtyard upon courtyard. Joy told us that the Forbidden City, when it was at its largest (some of it was torn down in the past) had 9999.5 rooms. Nine was used a lot in the architecture since it one of the most auspicious numbers, and the largest digit. She said, given that quantity, if a person stayed in one room each day, it would take 27 years to have stayed in each room. (The current complex has about 8000 rooms.)

Talk about urban planning: everything in the imperial "town" is laid out meticulously to symbolically convey the power of the emperor, and the stability and nobility of his government and his people. Each structure is laid out a specific way in hopes of bringing good fortune, good energy, etc., according to feng shui and other supernatural and spiritual traditions.

The Forbidden City was a bit overwhelming, in its size, the ornateness of its features, but also the similarity of the structures. The same layouts and patterns are repeated again and again but with different variations for different purposes. You no sooner leave one unbelievably crafted royal building than you walk out into a huge square bordered by three similar buildings as incredible, but larger.

The history, too, was compendious, and even the sampling Joy shared with us was more than my memory or little notebook could hold. The last emperor, however, was notable because he was enthroned when only 4 years old. He was removed from his mother and taken to the Forbidden City, where tradition required him to stay overnight, alone, with the body of the dead emperor. The next day, the former emperor's mother died, and he had to spend the next night with her dead body. I can't imagine how terrified he must have been. At his enthronement, he cried terribly. His father stayed next to him and told him not to cry because it would be over soon. When the royal advisors learned this, they were very concerned. Saying "it will be over soon" is not auspicious. In fact, he was emperor for only 3 years.

His short reign was also blamed on the removal of a threshold at one of the gates to the Forbidden City. All gates have thresholds because the Chinese believe spirits cannot jump. Thresholds, therefore, keep out evil spirits. The last emperor removed a threshold so he could ride his bicycle in and out.

The walking and standing was bearing down on our muscles as well. Benjamin, nonetheless, was holding up great, with chances for him to rest by being carried by one of us.

After exiting the Forbidden City via the imperial garden, another colorful and imposing "gate" and the bridge, we returned to the bus for a short ride to one of Beijing's old hutong neighborhoods.

Hutongs traditionally refer to groups of houses located around a courtyard with a central (water) well. The modern use of the word is expanded to neighborhoods accessed via narrow alleys.

The original layout and structures of the hutong that we visited (according to our local guide, Jiang) dated to before the time of the first instantiation of the Forbidden City, built in the 1400's.

Benjamin, who was in a good mood the whole day, became more excited when we reminded him that we would be touring the hutong, in part on rickshaws. These were three-wheeled bicycle rickshaws with cushioned double seats.

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Right now on the plane they are playing what appears to be a very high production music video featuring an attractive Chinese woman in a flowing dress singing in front of the Great Hall of the People. The video keeps cutting to shots of the Chinese flag and the flag of the Communist Party (yellow hammer and sickle on red) flying high in the wind. They also cut to black and white footage of people in uniforms talking, etc. (Possibly heroes of the Revolution.) Before showing this, they were showing what appeared to be the standard airline and vacation advertising (but in Chinese, of course). In between they had clips from a British hidden camera comedy show.

No time to write more. We are off to meet Hannah Dong En!

My Friends Were Almost Crushed to Death by a Crowd on the Great Wall of China and All I Got Was This Crummy T-Shirt

We headed up the Badaling Expressway for the mountains northwest of the city of Beijing, to the Badaling section of the Wall. On the way the city gave way to suburban areas and countryside, broken up by quarries, tourist businesses, a few farms, etc. The mountains took shape and rose in front of us. We were all very excited to see the first glimpses of parts of the Wall near the freeway.

We arrived through a congested maze of valley roads, clogged with the cars of weekend tourists and tour buses. The roads were lined with tourist vendors from old folks with stands, to sophisticated multilevel stores and restaurants. The Badaling section is the closest to downtown Beijing and we were about to find out, is popular because you can go up on cable cars.

The Wall was on steep slopes out here. Our guide, Joy, told us she would buy us tickets to the cable cars. Until then, we had thought this would just be a walk on the wall. When we got there we saw why most people took the cable cars. It was quite a climb. We were both a little nervous about the cable cars — six-person hanging, closed gondolas on a cable lifts like ones sees at other mountain tourist areas (except not all shiny and clean and red, like in the photos of the Alps, or what not). Nervous because, well frankly, the cloisonné factory was not the first indication or story we've heard about safety and the effectiveness of regulation in China. Who knows, we were both thinking, how well maintained those things are. We didn't betray our anxiety, however, so as not to convey it to the boy; he was very excited: a device, a conveyance, very train-like!!! I'm so glad he wasn't scared. Rebecca confessed she'd hoped he'd want to walk up (like one other couple in our group did) and take the cable cars down, but Ben wanted to take the cable cars both ways.
Once we got up there and started ascending a section of the Wall, we were grateful that we'd gone with the lift. It was very steep and we doubt we're fit enough to have done the walk in good time.

Before we got the a section of the Wall we could walk, we had to wait in a long line, in a big crowd, surrounded by locals selling everything from hot dogs and marinated boiled eggs to t-shirts and decorative jade. By far, the Wall is the most crowded place we've been so far.

Once on the Wall itself, it was still very crowded. We walked up slowly, taking photos and resting often because of the steep grade.

There was a serious bottleneck of the crowd at one point. One spot on the relatively narrow wall had a vendor's stand set up on one side, and made it much more narrow. We were stuck in the middle of a group literally pressed up against one another, unable to move. People began pushing. It was quite distressing. Headlines about crowd panic and people began trampled to death ran through both our minds, though we didn't share this with each other until later in the day, when Benjamin was asleep. We were stuck that way for at least 10 minutes until numerous people began pushing more and shouting. We decided to try to go back down, but couldn't get over to the unmoving group heading back. What happened was very confusing: the shouting intensified; some guy was talking into a bullhorn. Suddenly Rebecca — who'd been holding Benjamin the whole time — rushed forward and to the side into a space that had opened up. A few guys were holding people aside and signaling a stream of us up and through the crowd. We got to a more open space and stopped to rest and regain our composure. We took more photos then headed back down. The treacherous bottleneck had eased and we could get through much more easily now.

The views were unbelievable, and so frankly were the crowds.

I hope to report from our people-watching on the Wall and describe how Benjamin's celebrity treatment, remarkably, only intensified up there.

Now, though, I really should post some photos and go to bed.

There's a Cute Little White Boy in the Store

We just got back from the Great Wall of China. That's not something you can say every day. It's hard to believe that it's true; it's still hard to believe we're really here in China, because it all seems so surreal.

But the fact that we are in China is unavoidable. Chinese writing and spoken language surrounds us everywhere, of course. Moreover, unlike traveling to most places in "the West," we are unmistakably foreign and, outside this hotel, even at large tourist destinations, part of a slim minority in the crowd.

As to our adventures today, our Bethany (adoption agency) travel group of five families got on the bus this morning to head to the Great Wall. On the way, we stopped to visit a cloisonné factory. (What's cloisonné? Click here or here.) It was very interesting and a little bit sad. A friendly guide who spoke English very well showed us to several different workshop areas demonstrating the different steps in creating the cloisonné pieces.

The process is done largely by hand and with painstaking detail. I believe the guide said it takes 20 days of labor done by 7 different craftspeople or laborers to make, for example, a medium sized vase.

Making Cloisonné / Working Conditions
The working conditions disturbed us. The areas they showed us were very dingy, spartan rooms with concrete walls and floors and old tables and chairs. Women worked for unknown hours on end gluing the tiny strips of copper to the sides of the pieces to form the design. Others applied various colored enamel mineral pastes with eye droppers to the spaces formed by the designs. Men without breathing masks sat at machines that could spin the vases (etc.) around very quickly, smoothing these fired pieces with handheld polishing stones.

The workers who could look up from their work or who interacted with the tour guide, were pleasant and did not appear as if they found the work oppressive. If these dreary, seemingly unsafe spaces were the ones they showed to tourists, I had to wonder under what conditions might the unseen dozens be working under.

Rebecca wondered how many of the women working there might be birthmothers to orphaned or adopted children.

One can complain a little about some of the seemingly overly detailed, intrusive OSHA rules bearing on U.S. business. But after seeing just a sample of the conditions in Chinese manufacturing plants, as Rebecca reminded me, we are very fortunate that past generations risked their livelihoods and sometimes their lives to help secure us the labor regulations that we have today in the U.S. and many other countries.

Exit Through the Gift Shop
The conditions of the cloisonné workshops were soon set in stark contrast with the large, lovely store in which we were, of course, given time to shop among the factory's finished wares. The carefully-lit glass shelves and cases bore thousands of pieces of cloisonné, from little 750-yuan ($10) figures to floor display urns on sale for thousands of dollars. The store was staffed by well-groomed, friendly, young people, most of whom were versed in at least a little English. Their sales techniques consisted mainly of walking up to customers and beginning a "casual" conversion about the quality or beauty of the items, or whether one liked this or that piece.

Movie Star Status
We looked at the work, much of it very beautiful and chatted a little with the clerks. Benjamin's celebrity for the day began here. Waiguoren (foreigners) are commonplace at the cloisonné factory as it is obviously on the itinerary of many a travel group headed for the Great Wall. Western children, however, are more rare — especially a fair-haired, fair-skinned, green-eyed "spectacle" like Benjamin. Some steal glances, others stare and comment to one another quite openly. Women often giggle and fawn. If Benjamin says "ni hao" (hello), xie xie (thank you), or "zai jian" (goodbye), many are so surprised or tickled that they just light up. Rebecca heard one young women tell her coworkers excitedly how she waved to Benjamin and he said "ni hao" and "zai jian," even though they were standing right next and saw the same thing — as if they wouldn't believe their own eyes unless she told the tale aloud. A few people, on hearing one of us attempt a sentence in Mandarin, commented directly to us that Benjamin was "hen piao liang" (very good-looking).

Rebecca or I frequently say to people around us "ni hao," especially if they are staring at Benjamin or us. We also repeatedly say "xie xie" (thanks) to those who help us in the least. For me it’s the nerves of being out in a strange place combined with Midwestern courtesy and guilt. Many nod or politely respond with the typical response "bu ke qi" (you're welcome or, literally, no [need to be] polite). For others that small token of Chinese (from us adults) alone is enough to provoke a surprised smile or comment.

One young sales lady in the cloisonné shop was so surprised that we could speak a few sentences of Mandarin (and that Benjamin knew a few phrases, too), she asked if we had recently settled in China.

We did break down and buy a few small items and then met with the group outside. It was a beautiful sunny day with a high of 58 degrees F, and we were soon off for the Great Wall.

Stay Tuned

We'll post pictures later. We're off to a cloisonee factory and the Great Wall!!

Out Into the City / Behai Park / Acrobatic Show

Today we planned to strike out on our own and visit the Summer Palace. Instead, due time constraints, we went to Beihai Park which is closer to our hotel.

The most exciting part of the trip was the taxi ride. Driving anywhere in Beijing is a competitive sport. Several times our taxi driver came within inches (or less) of striking another vehicle as he maneuvered as quickly as possible between lanes, then slammed on his brakes when someone equally reckless cut in front of him. He did all of this while talking on his cell phone with one hand, and both steering and driving stick shift with his other. At one point, he charged a city bus head on and I thought we would all surely die. Yet, against all odds, we managed to make it to our destination safely.

Beihai Park is absolutely gorgeous. It is located in the center of downtown Beijing and is the oldest existing garden in all of China. It is over 800 years old. It also has many Buddist temples and we saw lots of people offering money to the statutes of the various gods in the temples.

Benjamin was a huge attraction at the park. Several people gestured to have their picture taken with him and he very kindly obliged. One person told us in English that he was "very beautiful."

Ben was also thrilled to discover, and use, the squatty potty at the park. He told me that he was going to check out the bathrooms at the acrobatic show tonight because if they also have squatty potties, then he wants to use one there as well.

It is so wonderful to travel with him. Most westerns complain bitterly about squatty potties. They are difficult to use and I can attest first hand that they smell terrible. But to Ben, using them is an adventure. Seeing everything through his eyes has made this trip so much more enjoyable.

The acrobatic show was astounding. As Jay pointed out, given the mass media we have access to, very few things surprise us. We've seen it all on T.V. The acrobatic show, however, was truly unbelievable. There is simply no way to adequately describe seeing 14 young women ride on 1 bicycle. Or seeing a series of three young men standing one on top of the other, the first and the third both on moving balance boards, and the top one using his balance board to simultaneously launch 4 bowls into the air and catch them on his head. It is incomprehensible to me how the performers learned their routines, or how they are capable of contorting their bodies in ways that seem inhuman. Our guide told us they have been trained since they were babies.

They perform 2 back to back shows every day, 7 days a week. Tonight, we saw the first of the two shows. As the curtain started to go down, an announcer said, "The performance is over. Thank you for coming." Everyone in the audience rushed out to make way for those attending the next show. Most people were gone before the curtain had touched the floor. I felt sorry for the performers. I am sure they would have received multiple standing ovations in the U.S.

Tomorrow we will visit the Great Wall. Just three more days until we finally meet Hannah Dong En.

SE / South Central Beijing: View from one of our hotel room windows

One Miàn Tiáo [Noodle] at a Time

[by Rebecca]

Last night we ate supper at a real Chinese restaurant. By "real," I mean it didn't have any silverware, just chopsticks and Chinese style soup spoons. Our waitress didn't speak any English and got a different waitress to help us. The second waitress only spoke limited English, but with her English and Jay's Mandarin, we managed to successfully order hot and sour soup, pork dumplings, chicken with lemon sauce, stir fried noodles, jasmine tea, and bottled water. Everything was delicious and the portions were huge. We ate until we were stuffed, but still had at least half of the food left over. It cost about $12 USD.

Ben is a trooper. He tried everything and loved it, even the jasmine tea. He hasn't quite gotten the hang of chopsticks yet. To eat the noodles, he resorted to hooking a single noodle on the end of a chopstick and eating them one at a time. (We'll try to attach a picture below, but have been having trouble connect with blog sites on the Internet.)

Today, we are going to an acrobatic show in the evening. This morning we MIGHT try to venture out on our own to see the beautiful "Summer Palace." We have been warned to cross the streets with caution. The drivers here do not exactly follow traffic signals and definitely do not give the right of way to pedestrians. Before we left I read that 25 bicyclists and pedestrians are killed every day in auto accidents in Beijing alone. That's 175 a week, over 650 a month. I suppose in a city of 15 million+, that statistic isn't surprising to officials, but it shocked me. We will definitely watch where we're going!

We Made It

[by Rebecca]
We made it! It took us a little over 28 hours from the time we left our house in Wisconsin to the time we arrived at our hotel in Beijing.

The flight from Detroit to Tokyo was very long and crowded. Ben managed to sleep pretty well on the plane. The airline provided lots of food and snacks. The food was great! We had fresh fruit, pork fried rice, blueberry muffins, and orange juice for breakfast just before we arrived in Tokyo.

In Tokyo, we had a 50 minute layover, but were required to exit the plane, go through security, and get back on the same flight to continue on to Beijing. I assumed we'd be on the same plane, but they switched us to a smaller, newer plane for the last leg of our trip. As we exited the 747 in Tokyo, it was obvious why a new plane was preferable. It looked like our plane had hosted a frat party. There were crumbs on all the seats, everything looked stained and wrinkled and there was litter everywhere. Yet, with over 400 passengers, I was amazed at how smoothly everything went. Everyone was very courteous and quiet.

Ben opened his Halloween card from Grandma on the plane. He loved it and had lots of fun putting all the spooky stickers on the haunted house.

We arrived in Beijing at about 9:00 p.m. local time. The city is enormous. The population exceeds 15 million. Even from the air, it stretched to the horizon. As we flew in, Ben said, "Beijing is beautiful. It is even more beautifuler than I thought it would be!" Indeed, it was very pretty. There were many more colorful lights (blue, purple, red, orange, yellow and green) than are typical in American cities.

We had no trouble getting our luggage or getting through customs. As we left customs, we were greeted by a Starbucks, a KFC, and our guide, Joy. Joy is very friendly and knowledgeable. She speaks English well, and also speaks Mandarin and Cantonese. Jay quickly surprised her with his ability to speak a little Mandarin and Cantonese.

At the airport, Ben and I had our first brush with "squatty potties." The restroom had toilets and squatty potties. Each stall had an image outside of it to indicate what type of facility was inside. The "squatty potty" picture looked like a circle with two footprints on either side of it. Ben REALLY wanted to use the squatty potty, but alas, it was already in use and he settled for a traditional toilet. He's been on the lookout for a squatty potty ever since.

Our hotel is very nice. Our room is spacious and clean. I've heard many adoptive parents say the beds in China are very hard. It is difficult to comprehend just how hard until you experience it first hand. I would love to see a cross section of the mattress. I'm pretty sure it would include a layer of plywood with a 1/8-inch of padding on top. Nonetheless, after sitting up on various planes for 28 hours, the bed was heavenly and we all slept well until 7:00 a.m. this morning. We are adjusting well to the time change.

Today is a free day. So far we've eaten breakfast and walked to a local supermarket to buy snacks and water. The market was very interesting. The meat section had lots of meat I couldn't identify and all of it was displayed in the open on beds of ice. There were no display cases. There were also lots of products we have in the U.S. like Oreos, M&Ms, Ritz crackers and Coke.

On the way to and from the market, we saw lots of older people walking with little pet birds in cages. I noticed lots of people staring at Ben and pointing him out to their companions. A blond-haired little boy seems to be a real novelty. Ben said "zai jian" (good bye) to a group of young waitresses this morning as we left the restaurant. They all giggled and acted as though they'd never seen anything more cute in their lives.

Tomorrow we are off to an acrobatic show.